By Eckie

Option 2a:

‘I have no idea if I will like it or hate it weeks or months from now, but I believe it is the right choice to make, I would be happy to follow your request and be back here that very mentioned Friday 6pm sharp, fully aware that before an hour passed my current self will have disappeared forever and what is left to exist is what you chose it to become.’

He smiled finally. Then he told me that he will decide, an agent will contact me shortly and I should give him all needed authority to begin taking care of everything while I am there and after. I should use the time to say good bye to those I wanted to or just choose to not tell anyone, but Friday two weeks from now 6pm sharp is when we meet again, and because of that, there was no need to remove that chastity either, it would never come off again anyway now.

That was it, I had just given away my life and my existence as free human individual. Sure, I had almost two weeks’ time still on my own, but… I was nervous, I was scared, thoughts running if I had made the right choice, I suddenly could no longer tell, but something about this sudden situation still made me feel right despite doubts of the moment. As I told him, I had no idea if I would regret this down the road, probably I will have a time where I do, that might last short or long, nobody could tell, but once I would be back here none of that would matter anymore, I as individual free person seize to exist the moment I put on that suit again then. I was breathing nervously, some shivering, I still had not really gotten a grip on what just happened, but it happened, and it will be so… Slowly I calmed a bit, still scared shitless, but a little more convinced that it is the right thing to do. Almost two weeks, they would pass quick, and then it was …. Well was it over or was it beginning… Time will tell me, but I was still determined.

option 2b:

The time in the past days was one of the best I can remember of had ever expected to happen, it has given me a feel on that everlasting fantasy in my mind. But truthfully, I cannot tell if I would like it or not, if I would even be able to live it or not with the knowledge that it will never end. I cannot tell myself that I will be able to cope with the consequences this decision will have once it is made, if at the end, assuming I would even make it back here two weeks from now, I would really step into that suit, or even if I did that, still sit down to get chained up, knowing that those chains will seal the end of my current life as I know it. I cannot get a grip on what it truly means to have nothing but the life you then would grant me so generously. Boredom for a day of a few, yes I can cope with it with nothing happening but being forced to just sit and wait, but I cannot get an imagination if I would be able to cope with it for the most of the future, not being able to distract myself with whatever I might find or like to do so, I cannot surely say that I would not start begging, whining, crying, pleading to end it and actually expect it to end then, I just do not know if I could see or find myself to give up ‘living’ to some extent and replace it with just ‘existing’. I may not have a problem leaving material things behind or even friends and family, strange enough that seems no concern of mine, but disappointing myself and with that likely you as well because I may not be able to cope with that new existence as that object is something I have a too hard time to allow me entering this specific final commitment.

I even know right now that it will haunt me for years to come, asking myself the ‘what if’ question over and over again. But you want to know if I would change into this object under your and your sole conditions and permanent, no way back, and I just cannot find it in me to say yes to that, as much as right now I might still want it in the back of my mind.

He smiled, I was not sure was it to hide disappointment, was it because he knew this would be my response, as I mentioned in the begin, we never met, but somehow he seemed to know what was going on in my mind so he might just have been certain to begin with that I could not make that choice, I had no idea. Neither did he actually tell me, which would busy my mind for the weeks and months to come. He just confirmed that he understood and that I should neither be worried nor ashamed of my choice, it was what I felt and that made it right at the time. Well that was an open response, right at the time, maybe it was a mistake, I told him it would haunt me for years to wonder what would have been, but he was right in me feeling right now that I am not able to say yes, be it insecurity about myself or this future, be it not having the guts to go for what I thought I always wanted, be it for probably many other reasons.

Nevertheless, it was soon time for me to leave in order to drive those endless miles to my home, he seemed not angry which I hoped was the correct interpretation, I was sure, even not showing, he may be disappointed though, and that would bite me for e a while too, it was sure the last thing I would have wanted to happen, but it did nevertheless now.

We then grabbed out of his pocket the keys for that chastity, putting them on the table, just saying that one last item then needs to be unlocked before I leave. I don’t know what I thought, my own liking of doing that or trying to give him a tiny little satisfaction of pleasure for a while, but I looked at those keys and then asked if he would mind if we do no unlock it now. It was certainly a surprise for him I assumed from the very brief expression in his face, but he did not seem to reject that right way. I added then that I would happily visit him again someday, not asking for a repeat, but just to visit him again and I would be happy to remain in chastity until that day in the future may come. And yes, I was aware I would swear in this later for sure, but for some reason it felt right to ask and offer that right now. I still do not know what he thought then, but he grabbed those keys and put them back into his pocket, we got up, said good byes and I started my several hours drive back home .

I haven’t visited him back again yet, it’s been months, occasionally we still exchange mails, but so far neither of us made an attempt to arrange another visit, who knows when or if that will come someday then, I however kept indeed asking myself a lot of times what would have been, reminded about it constantly by that chastity device I have gotten used to completely by now, would I have gotten used to the rest as well so easily, well after weeks of heavy frustration and swearing on the device or my choice to ask for it of course, well, I will likely never find out if I have to regret my choice or not.

The end

This story by Eckie is from his website, Eckie aka Bondagfan. It is being shared here with the author’s permission. Be sure to join Eckie’s site for much more male bondage fiction like this!