Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 02

By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 2: Quaint Local Customs

You don’t need to be on St. Bevons very long before you know they have all different races there.  So Patrick was some kind of Asian and the other one–Dobie, like it said on his shirt–was white.  Not surprising.  And they have their own accent or dialect or whatever.  I mean you hear it but not from the ones that have any money, lol!  Patrick had it, but underneath you could tell that he had to be an American.  Same for the other one.  You knew it by how they said things.  Like when Dobie said, “Yeh, we be outta you way soon sir.”  These guys on the island, like cooks and so on, always said “waaaay,” like it might go on forever, and when they got to something like “sir,” it was “sirrrr.”

But these two guys didn’t sound like that.  They sounded like I sounded when Dan took me to his room and gave me a beer (thanks, Dan–finally!) and I did my imitation of islan’ talk till he told me I was drunk and I should knock it off.  So you can learn to talk that way, but you might not be perfect.  Anyhow, Dobie and Patrick pulled off the bedclothes and brought in some new sheets and fluffed up the pillows and went in the bathroom and scrubbed and flushed and mopped and sprayed, and all the time they were chattering away in islan’ but the way they cranked their shoulders and slung their butts was totally USA.

Continue reading Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 02


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Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 01

Island Paradise

In Two Parts

By Joshua Ryan



Chapter 1: A Great Place for the Whole Family

Hey, what’s goin on?  I’m not an interruption–I’m Joel, and it’s my turn to talk.

You don’t know me yet, so I’m wondering how to introduce myself.  I guess it doesn’t matter.  Just think of me as the Boy Next Door.

You know the type.  I’m sorta tall, and sorta blond, and I was sorta popular in school.  Picture me raking leaves in the front yard, wearing a red flannel shirt, with a light blue tee underneath it.  I was never behind any white picket fence, but my family lived in a pretty good neighborhood and I went to a pretty good school, which means there was zero crime and only a couple fistfights out behind the gym.  Lack of tradition, lol!

Anyway, I went out for sports and was good in English and real good in math.  Dan—he’s my older brother—went to law school, so my parents thought I should go to med school.  The summer after my junior year in high school, my dad’s friend Dr. Lowery got me a volunteer gig at the hospital, which meant following the doctors and nurses around while they did their things.  When they were with a patient I had to say—“Hi, I’m Joel, I’m a volunteer, just learning stuff”—and the patients were always nice about that.  The nurses and doctors weren’t always nice to each other, but they were nice to me.  I wondered how I would feel if people actually weren’t that nice.  Maybe it would be more interesting!  Don’t ask me whether I wanted to be a doctor.  I don’t think I did, but I guess it was as good as anything.

Continue reading Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 01