A newbie wants help breaking into the local gay bondage scene

A Metalbond reader recently sent me this via email:

Dear Metal,

I’m 33 years old, gay male. I’m looking to sort of “ease into” local gay BDSM. I’m a bit sexually shy, but I have, as long as I can remember, found myself attracted to BDSM. I’ve finally worked up the nerve to try and get into it beyond looking at websites. I’m looking for advice on how or where I should go in New York City to meet some people. If you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.


My response:

A great place to start is the New York Bondage Club. They meet on Sunday nights at Paddles on 26th Street. You can join in the action if you like, or just watch, and it is great place (in my opinion) for beginners.

The education-focused GMSMA (Gay Male S/M Activists) closed down several years back, but some of the alumni from this organization have formed BDSMU, which bills itself as “a new organization focused on building education and camaraderie in the NYC kink community.” They offer monthly events at the Eagle NYC. You can connect with BDSMU via their Facebook page.

Workshops and classes on various topics are also offered at The Leather Man (primarily gay men) and Purple Passion / DV8 (a more “heteroflexible” crowd) on various topics. Check their websites for class offerings, times and dates.

Also, if you haven’t already done so, should put up a profile on Recon. There are lots of local guys out there, and if you get the app you might find (since this in New York Fuckin’ City) that some very hot bondage stud is closer than you can imagine! And he can’t wait to get his hands on a horny newcomer like you!

When you do meet up with someone, be sure to be careful! That means meeting in a public place before going home with the guy, telling someone where you are going, etc. You might find this article from the Anti-Violence Project especially helpful.

Have fun — and send me an email sometime telling me about your adventures!