By Inmate 220418

Friday – Day 1

I wake up as they turn on the courtesy lights and I know guards are making their way around to perform their morning wellness checks. I get up to try and get ready so I’m not completely caught with my pants down. Upon the guards coming in the block, they tell me to stand at the back of my cell. I’m standing there while two guards approach my cell door “Good morning inmate, how did you sleep?” I responded in a half-awake state “I slept okay, Sir.” I’m then instructed to get ready for the day and to make my bed. We spent a good amount of time in our cells, I wondered as best as I could in the small cell. I counted 10 steps long by seven steps wide, the ceiling was just out of reach.

After the guards complete their rounds, two additional guards bring three trays out and set them on the metal table in our block. We were asked if we wanted coffee or OJ, and immediately said “Coffee please!” Their response, “okay” as if I was in for something unpleasant. After setting the trays down and filling up our mugs, the guards leave the block and our cell doors open. We leave our cells and I get good luck at my fellow block mates. We all sat down and began eating our breakfast, a bacon egg and cheese, strawberries, and some yogurt. As for the coffee, some of the most bland and flavorless coffee I’ve ever tasted, it tasted as if they reused old coffee beans from the guards breakfast. We ate as much as we could before the guards came back to our block, “stand up against the wall inmates.” Upon doing so, the guards came in and took the rest of our trays.

We took some time to get to know each other, we talked about how long we were in for, what our crimes were, and explore what we could. The block was a bit bigger, holding four individual cells, a metal table, and a shower. Just opposite of my cell door was a small window up about 8 feet off the ground, you could barely see anything other than the fact that there was light outside. Each cell could contain two inmates, so this one block should hold eight inmates. Thankfully, there were only three inmates in this block.

I couldn’t tell you how long it had been since breakfast, as there was no source of time in our block. But, one guard came in. “Inmate 220418, you should use the restroom now, you have a phone check soon.” I quickly try to use the restroom prior to them coming back for me, I’m cuffed, leg shackled, and escorted out of the block. I’m escorted down the same hallway towards the chow hall. We wait at the end of the hallway in front of the metal bar door, upon the door automatically opening up, I can see the chow hall, six guards all stare at me. Two large tables adjacent to each other sit and my phone sat in the center of a table.

I sat down to check my phone, my phone was turned off, it takes its time to turn on fully. I get this chance to look around. There’s four doors with coverings over them surrounding the door, plus the same bar door that leads back to my block. A high ceiling with what appears to be windows at the very time, I can see four tiny windows about 15 feet off the ground. Even if I somehow managed to find a ladder, there’s no way I could discreetly climb my way out. A one way mirror also sits opposite of the hallway, I presume there are more eyes staring at my behind that mirror.

Upon checking my phone, I only received a few texts from my friends acknowledging my confirmation that I arrived safely. I told my less kinky friends and family that I was going to a cabin, and using this as a tech-free weekend. A Facebook reminder also reminded me of a screenshot of a text conversation, it had been one year since me and my fiance broke up. I knew I couldn’t let that affect me this weekend, but it still haunted me.

I turned off my phone and notified the guard that I was done, I got up from the table and was directed to the mirror away from the hallway. Upon reaching the mirror we go towards one of the doors that I hadn’t been in yet, upon its opening I can see a new door leading to a white wall cell and a canvas straightjacket. I knew exactly where they were taking me, I immediately fought back knowing what I was in for.

One guard turned into two, which turned into four, and eventually five guards were in this tiny cell. Any attempt at struggling was met with more pushback from the guard, slowly one cuff was taken off and my arm was forced inside the straightjacket sleeve, then the second cuff was taken off. While resisting as best as I can, another guard takes out his baton and starts pressing against my shins causing me to yelp in pain, “you kick me in the balls, I’ll make it worse for you” scolded by one of the guards, eventually they get both arms in the sleeves.

“Right let’s roll him over to get his back” “one, two, three” said by a British guard, and immediately I’m followed onto my stomach while one of the guards does my back, I could feel one of the guards pinching my ear in an attempt to get me to comply. The pain immediately makes me stop struggling while the guard gets the rest of my bondage. A crotch strap finally tightened to an uncomfortable level and I’m now sitting there completely bound in this canvas straightjacket. My slides came off at some point during the struggle and ended up on the floor, another guard grabbed them and left my ID badge in the room. The guards lay me down on the “bed” and tell me to lay there while they exit the cell.

Upon getting off me, I sprint up in an attempt to leave with the guards but I’m met with the bottom of the guards boot pushing me back inside the cell. Then the door closes and any more force back up against the door is met with the solid door closing and locking shut. The door is a firm but soft padded material. Looking around, this room is basically a padded cell with an off-white soft but firm material, along with the door, and bed. Two cameras in opposite corners watch me, every movement is being monitored by some unknown force.

As I’m sitting there, my mind starts wondering, different thoughts of what it’s like outside this cell, what are they plotting next for me. All I could do is wait, reading what little graffiti was in the room, “Jerry and Sherri 4 ever” and “fuck the guards” was all I could really make out. There wasn’t much else to look at in this cell. I’m occasionally checked in on by a guard, the sounds of the keys walking towards the cell along with the security flap outside the cell is all that I can notice, how long I was in there is slowly slipping my mind. I eventually get another check by multiple guards. I stand up quickly to start talking to them.

I’m hearing them start to banter me, “inmate scum” and “degenerate” are thrown around. My rebuttal doesn’t quite hit very well. “It’s okay if your backup career didn’t work out, it’s better than working at 7/11.” I learned quickly that these guards were looking for a reaction, they wanted my energy, they wanted me to get myself into trouble.

After our little banter sessions, they tell me to go sit back down and turn off the lights. I’m now alone in an almost pitch black cell now except for the small glimmer of light shining through the small security panel, the bed is uncomfortable, and especially in a straightjacket, I have no way to support myself. In the dark, I really start to wonder, I attempt to get any sort of sleep giving then there really isn’t much to look at. I can’t find a comfortable position.

What feels like hours later, I’m eventually woken up by the lights coming back on. In my groggy state I can see a guard peering through the window, the door opens up and I’m hearing “get up.” I walk towards the door and I’m forced to turn around. I can feel the restraints being undone, a moment of relief as the jacket is finally taken off. I choose not to fight back given the fact that I’ve spent who knows how long in this cell. I’m cuffed once again, grabbed my slides and ID badge, and I’m escorted back to my block.

Upon entering my block, I can see my cell doesn’t quite look the same as it did earlier, I come to the realization that they searched my cell. My bedding is all on the ground, my journal wasn’t where I left it, and everything was moved around. I started to reorganize my cell to the way it was. Nothing appears to be missing, but considering that I didn’t smuggle in anything, figured nothing should be missing. My block mate comes by and I ask “how long have I been gone?” he responded “about two hours” he responded.

Shortly after, we’re rounded up and told “time for lunch” We’re told to line up with our hands behind our back and as we walk out into the hallway, I can see other inmates lined up against the wall. We follow as instructed as at this point I’m hungry, one tip I was given by another inmate is to not fuck with meals, one minor delay in your meal would fuck everyone else. I was not about to have a bunch of angry inmates against me, after all it’s only day one. We’re told to turn and face the door and line up, a single guard stands blocking our walkway, “Do you have a question for me?” I hear the guard talking to the inmate at the front of the line, the inmate’s response is mumbled, “return to the back of the line.” The next inmate goes and the same response is given “return to the back of the line.”

I’m now three inmates away from the start of the line and I remember hearing how the guards wanted to hear your request regarding crossing the red line. I look down and see the red line, the inmate in front of me said “inmate 220417 requesting permission to cross the red line.” A slight pause before “return to the back of the line.” It’s now my turn and I’m panicking, my feet barely touch the red line, before hearing “Do you have a question for me inmate?” That’s when it clicked, I responded “Sir Inmate 220418 requesting permission to cross the red line Sir?” I await his command, and he said “go sit down.”

Eventually the rest of the inmates get the saying down, and we all sit down with our packed lunches in front of us. We were told to wait by the guards until all inmates had sat down to unpack said lunch. Inside was a PB&J sandwich, an apple, and some fruit snacks. One inmate from Dublin had never had the fruit snacks and immediately tried it, watching his reaction was actually funny. It was interesting seeing a good number of guards & inmates from overseas at this event.

This same inmate from Dublin nicknamed Lucky Charms started shaking his leg, one guard nicknamed ‘Loud Mouth’ took that as a threat and immediately took action, the inmates adjacent to him were cuffed to him making it almost impossible to eat their lunch. The trend continued and eventually all inmates on his side were cuffed together. Another guard found this funny and started cuffing all the inmates on my side of the bench, and to the point where we all were cuffed. Eating the remainder of our lunch was a bitch.

After lunch we had some downtime, I took this time to journal while the other inmates on our block decided to take a nap. There were a total of at least four other blocks, each block contained at least two to four bunks, a shower, and enough cameras to capture anything that was out of the ordinary. You truly never felt alone or had a private moment to yourself. At this point, it had been about 20 hours since intake and I learned I really didn’t feel like I missed my phone, the conversations we had with the other inmates really made a difference. It was kinda nice not thinking about the rising gas prices, or the government shut down that lurked in the real world.

Eventually we earned our rec time, of course that just meant we could move from the block back to the chow time, but with a bit more freedom. The other inmates came out and we could fully interact with each other. There were about 10 other inmates from different backgrounds, a good number of British inmates, and a few straight men. From an event that while not advertised as a gay kink event like MAL, I don’t know anyone who goes to jail willingly because of how straight it is.

Our rec time consists of playing “Bullshit” and exploring the work release room. This room was just adjacent to the chow hall and had its own bathroom, so the guards had a reason not to open up the gate and allow us back to our blocks. The room also contained another shower, three bunks, and a coat rack with plenty of jackets. It’s important to note that it was very cold in this facility, my Florida body wasn’t properly adjusted to the cold weather Illinois was experiencing. I jumped on the opportunity to wear a jacket, considering that the majority of the time I was wrapped up in a blanket when allowed.

One inmate attempted to cause some trouble so we all followed suit, we went into the work release room and hid in the corner pretending to pass something around. We were trying to cause trouble due to the lack of action we faced in the rec room. Shortly after returning to the chow hall, two guards came in and grabbed one of the inmates in that circle and took him somewhere in the hallway.

One by one inmates were taken out of rec time, and once only six inmates remained, we were told to go line up against the wall. Where we were then cuffed to each other and sat down at the two tables. We were told that there was a plan and the guards were trying to pull any info from us. One guard told us the narc already had my info and didn’t need my help which was why I wasn’t pulled away.

One moment I’m proud of, two guards were talking about what they were going to do after their shift claiming to have a life outside these walls, and one guard nicknamed ‘Xanax’ a shorter clean shaving male who acted as one of the wardens mentioned going to the casino and playing roulette. I responded, “That makes sense for someone like you!” The whole room burst out laughing and the guard had a look of shock on his face. He quickly moved on because I think he was too embarrassed to speak.

We had our dinner, which was our first warm meal, spaghetti and meatballs, with a breadstick, and a caesar salad. It was a nice home cooked meal and it was the first good meal we had all day. The nicely cooked meal felt like a break from the concrete floors and the steel doors we’ve become accosted too. Nobody really stepped out of line out of the fear of ending our meal early.

We were eventually released back to our block, and noticed it was quite cold in our block. The only source of warmth was up towards the top of the cell, the warm air was seeping in from the vent above the toilet. It felt amazing to stand on top of my toilet and feel the warm air. I told my block mate, “omg the warm air feels amazing” and he had the bright idea to take our pillows and fan the hot air around. He brought his pillow over and helped me fan the hot air around, I quickly returned the favor and both cells became significantly warmer.

The next thing I know, four guards came into our block and started shouting “You two up against the wall now!” said by the guard we nicknamed Lipton. “Why the fuck are you both fighting?” I rebutted “we weren’t fighting!” “Right, so we’re going to go follow up with the cameras, but until then, you’re both on lock down” said by him. “This is bullshit and you know it” and both me and my block mate are then locked in our cells while they review the footage.

We’re sitting in our cells while we wait for Lipton to return. Eventually, two different guards return to our block and tell me to return to the back of my cell. I comply, ready to face my punishment, I’m cuffed behind my back. As we are walking back, I see the chair and I start to panic, but when we walk past said chair, I’m now confused as to where they are escorted me, we pass the door to the padded cell and end up at a door with a long table and a metal chair, on the wall are several windows. Upon being uncuffed, I see my phone is on the tablet, it was my nightly phone check I requested.

I quickly turn my phone on, and I start to review the notifications. Nothing new, except for a few more late responses of me arriving at camp. I realized at that moment that in a real jail, life still goes on regardless of if you’re on the outside or not. While it had only been about 24 hours since my intake, I know that there are some individuals that remain locked up for their life. I text a few more friends and just update them.

After my phone check, I notify the guard that I’m ready to return, I’m escorted back to my cell with little to no events and find that we’ve all been given free time. We explore and start hanging out with some of the other inmates, we talk about what we’d be doing on a Friday night, and our choice of drink at the bar. We talk about “crimes” and find that most of us didn’t actually commit any crimes to be at a fake kinky jail. We also talk about how we know each other, it appears that the majority of us have experienced other events like HCI or FCJ. I find out that Lipton still hasn’t returned according to my block mate and decided to get a little bit of revenge.

I go to my cell and grab my journal, I write “You’re Gay” and head back to the gate that separates us from the chow hall. Loud Mouth is standing just past the gate. I ask him “please deliver this” and tell him it’s for Lipton. Surprised the guard actually listened and took it away, the other inmates saw this and asked what I gave to him. I told them “I wrote ‘You’re gay’ on it, it’s going to Lipton.” The other inmates knew why I did this and laughed. Shortly after, in the background we heard a bunch of laughter coming from the background and I knew Lipton had seen the note. Loud Mouth returned shortly after and gave me back the note with a simple ‘yes’ written on it.

After a short time had passed, we were told by guard Xanax “you have 10 minutes before bed” no inmates move because we were mid conversation. Xanax repeated “that means start moving inmates” I had a bit of a smart-ass dialectic and said “eh we have 10 minutes.” To which Xanax had nothing to say. I will admit I was a bit over my head, and knew tonight I was not going down without a fight. I rush back to my cell and get ready for bed, but with an itch to cause some late-night trouble.

I’m in the block when another guard nicknamed ‘Dognuts,’ a big muscle bear with a short grey beard, and a military cut comes into our block and tells me to get into my cell. Me being a smart ass I respond “I’m lost and can’t find my way back” he does not look amused and tells me one more time “get back to your cell inmate.” I refuse and the next thing I know, I’m immediately grabbed by him and start wrestling with him.

Shortly after, a second guard shows up and starts trying to take me down. Then another guard comes in and secures the other inmates in my block to control the situation while even more reinforcements come in. I’m now facing four guards as they attempt to get me to comply. I know I can’t put up much of a fight as I don’t want to hurt said guards, but I wasn’t making it easy on them.

Eventually I’m taken down to the ground and cuffed. I’m carried into my cell and told to bend my knees and cross my legs. I can hear the guards talking about how they were going to hold me down and shut the door behind me after they released me. I hear “Lipton ready when you are” then a countdown by Lipton. I immediately get up and start pushing back at the door, the door immediately slams shut and I’m now locked in my cell.

Dognuts eventually comes around to do one final check and gives me this smirk, he clearly won this battle, telling me “it makes sense for me to be behind bars.” But I knew day two would be my day to shine. I attempt to fall asleep, and get limited sleep, I don’t recall any fire watch occurring during the second night. But again my lack of sleep doesn’t help my case. I dream of life outside the jail, being free to go out and not have an early bed time. Having a drink at my local bar, how I’d give anything to have a drink.

To be continued …