By Socalbd
This wasn’t an experience that was suggested to me. It’s something I wanted to do. Paid a fee to rent the space. Enlisted some friends to join in as fellow inmates and guards. Arranged for five nights and six days to be in isolated solitary confinement.
100 hours is what it ended up being. 100 hours with limited human interaction. 100 hours of time locked up primarily in a 7-by-7-foot cell. 100 hours of nothing but the walls, the bars, the steel bunk and my own mind to keep me company. No books. No magazines. No cell mate. Just the sounds of the prison periodically traveling through the HVAC ducts and even that was limited. Hours upon hours of silence other than the gentle humming of the air through the vents.
Why?
A few years ago, I got a real taste of solitary confinement at a now closed facility. It was overnight, about 14 hours in all, shackled naked on the hard concrete floor in an Alcatraz style solitary cell with no light once the light fixture was dimmed. It made such an impression I made a return visit 10 months later.
A few years later was my next opportunity. It was a 24-hour solitary experience in a maximum-security prison cell as part of a roleplay weekend. I got a taste of what solitary in a prison could be like hearing sounds and movement around me but not being able to participate in it. The fear of missing out kicked in over those 24 hours. Others were having fun. I was locked away… alone.
Still not enough, I jumped at the chance for 3 days of solitary when it was offered 10 months later. The head space and the reality of the experience really started to kick in on day 3. Then it was over a few hours later. I had to find out what it was like beyond that point.
And so, here I was surrendering to guys I trusted and were ready to lock me up with limited human contact for 5 nights. We talked a lot about what could happen, what I wanted to experience, and what they were comfortable providing. It all came together.
Tuesday afternoon. We arrived and unloaded the car. We were on a road trip, and this was a scheduled stop as we traveled. In a strange sort of way, I was looking forward to five days and nights of not having to change hotels or sit endless hours in the car as we moved between stops. To be certain, seeing the US from the road is amazing. If one has the time and the resources, it’s a lifetime of memories in just a few weeks. It’s even better when you share the journey with a close friend.
With the car unloaded I got kicked out of the facility while my friend and soon to be guard started preparations and waited for our mutual guard friend to arrive. Another inmate and I left to explore the town having several hours to kill before we would receive the text to return and surrender.
The text came. Return to the parking lot in 15 minutes and be ready to surrender.
Arriving back at the parking lot we were instructed to get into the waiting SUV and seat belt ourselves in. My friend, now in guard mode, was behind the wheel.
The SUV slid out of the facility parking lot and onto the street for the short drive around the building to the sally port entrance. The garage-like door opened and in drove the SUV with us in the backseats.
Once the garage door was closed and the SUV and us were secure in the sally port we were instructed to remain in the car. The driver exited the SUV and went inside the facility. A few moments later he and the other guard came out, opened the door to my fellow inmate and pulled him from the vehicle. He was pushed against the car and cuffed up. I was reminded to stay in my seat until they returned for me. The door closed, I sat there and waited.
It was several minutes later when I heard the facility building door open and watched the two guards approach my side of the vehicle. The door opened and I was pulled out and hastily pushed to the back of the SUV and ordered to put my hands up on the vehicle. A quick pat down search happened and then my wrists were pulled behind my back and handcuffs were applied, palms out.
I was walked to the door that led into the facility with a hand firmly holding my bicep. The door was opened and in I went to start my experience.
I was pushed up against a wall and told to stay there with my forehead in contact with the cinder block, legs back and slightly spread. I was asked if I was going to cooperate. My less than respectful response earned me a swift kick and enough pain to understand that I should comply.
I was thoroughly stripped searched, forced to shower and handed a pair of boxer shorts to wear. Wrists were cuffed behind the back again and leg shackles applied. I was pushed towards a door. The door was opened and I was pushed in.
My friend was sitting in there, naked and cuffed up wrists and ankles, and sitting on the concrete bench that was low to the floor. Everything was concrete. This was a drunk tank. We sat and chatted for a few minutes.
When the door opened again, I was pulled out. Restraints were removed and I was handed a green and white striped uniform to wear. Restraints were reapplied and I was walked through the facility and to a rear pod area. It consisted of an entry area with a set of bars between the outer hallway door and the interior cells. I was walked through the cell bar door and into the common area just outside the cells. There were four cells in a row with mostly solid steel doors. A small open window of bars was at chest height on each door. I was walked into the cell in the furthest corner and pushed up against the cell’s back wall. Handcuffs were removed while the leg cuffs were left on. The guard walked out of the cell, closed the door with a bang, walked to the cell bars in the entry area, closed that door with a bang and finally out to the hallway with the final door slammed shut. I was locked in a cell with three steel doors between me and the facility hallway. I was alone for the first time.
The cell was about 7-by-10-feet with about 2 feet of space between the steel bunk setup and the cinderblock wall the steel door was on. The cell was all cinderblock with the exception of the bar window in the steel door. No outside windows. No other inmates in the pod. Just me. Alone. The bunk had a mattress on it, pillow, folded sheets and a blanket. I decided to make up the bunk. That would kill a few minutes I thought. And since it was later in the afternoon, some sort of meal might be brought to me soon.
Once the bunk was made up, I sat down on it and stared at the wall across from me. I had nothing in the cell to keep me entertained. No books. No magazines. Nothing to keep me and my mind company. I spent the better part of what I thought was an hour taking stock of my surroundings. From the bar window on the steel door, I could see the common area in front of me consisting of a steel table and bench. While I could see the door of the bar area separating the common area from the pod entry, I couldn’t see the steel door that led out to the hallway. I had limited vision to that area of the pod.
I was also constantly reminded of my status as a maximum-security inmate. Every step. Every movement of my legs. Every stretch of my body engaged the chain between the cuffs on my ankles. The clanking was constant. The pull between my ankles was constant. This was part of my new reality.
Dinner was delivered about an hour later. I heard the hallway door open and then the bar door to the common area was unlocked. The guard came to my window and handed me a bag. I was instructed that I was to return the bag at the next mealtime in order to trade for that meal. No trade of bags, no next meal. With the bag in my hand the guard walked away closing and shutting the doors between me and freedom. I was left alone.
In the bag was a peanut butter sandwich and a bag of chips. In the cell a tin cup had been left on the shelf. I filled it with water from the faucet above the steel toilet. I sat on the bunk and slowly ate my meal. I took my time knowing this was the only entertainment, if you can call it that, which I would have tonight.
White bread and peanut butter were all there was on the sandwich. It made it dry and of course it stuck to the roof of my mouth as I ate it. The water helped when I drank to lubricate the sandwich remnants and clear the roof of my mouth. When I was done, I put the trash in the bag and threw the bag on the top bunk.
The reality of my situation was slowly setting in. Alone. In a concrete cell. Some sounds I could hear from the jail but not really make out. A toilet would flush. A door would open and be slammed shut. Then silence again.
It was some time when I heard my pod door open followed by the bar door. The guard was back. It was a quick check of my status that I was still alive and a warning the lights would go out as soon as he left. He turned and left, clanging each of the doors as he made his way out of the pod. A few moments later it went completely dark. I didn’t even have time to pull the blanket and cover sheet down. I had to feel my way around the bunk.
I removed the uniform shirt and stripped to my waist. I sat down on the bunk and the socks came off next pulling and tugging them through the leg cuffs and tossing them on the floor near the slides. My body tends to get warm when I sleep and any clothing interrupts my ability to sleep. Unfortunately, the pants had to stay on as I was wearing the leg cuffs. Because of that, I slept without any sheet or the blanket covering me. I was warm.
As I tried to drift off to sleep, I kept attempting to look around but my eyes never adjusted. It was completely dark. Sleep eventually came and I dozed off.
To be continued…