By Cuffsandcops

The city where I attended college had two malls. I worked at a store in one of them during the end of my undergrad. I was attentive to the loss prevention officers in the store and the mall cops that regularly patrolled the corridors. Any time officers from the local police department were in the store, I made it a point to be nearby to see what they were up to. Unfortunately, the mall and my store in particular, were not very popular, because it lacked the size and variety that the other mall in town had.

The other retail center was always bustling with people in its multiple levels and large food court. The mall cops there wore white uniform shirts, blue pants, Stratton hats, and duty belts with everything but a holster for a weapon. Whenever I was there, I would take a few extra laps around just to see if I would cross paths with one of the officers. Since I didn’t work at this location, I began to take chances by engaging the mall cops in conversation about their duties and the gear they carried when I could get them to stop to talk.

After successfully having a few questions answered over the course of some visits, I had an idea. What is most likely the No. 1 crime committed in a mall? Shoplifting of course. Since I was preparing to end college and set off in the professional world, I realized that committing the crime would not be a wise move. But there had to be a way to get a comparable experience.

I began working in more questions about the handcuffs that the mall cops carried when I talked with them. One day I finally built up enough courage to ask one of the officers if he could show me what would happen to someone who got caught shoplifting. He quickly said no and went along his way. I have to admit that I was surprised by the harshness of his response. During the next few visits to the mall, I continued to ask the question, but made sure to not ask the same officer twice. I didn’t want to annoy any of the mall cops and figured the worst thing that could happen, would be them saying no. Who knows? There might even come a time when the officer might actually say yes.

My requests had been denied on a number of consecutive attempts and the responses from the officers became more abrupt. I started to think that this wasn’t the best idea and decided to take a break from asking. Plus I was running out of officers to ask. Once spring was in the air, I got the itch to try my luck again. I made my way to the mall and cruised spots where I knew the mall cops were likely to be. I made my way up the escalator from the food court to where the movies were located. Conveniently the ATM for my bank was located near the box office, so I had an excuse to be on that level.

I stepped off the escalator and noticed an unfamiliar officer looking over the rail to the level below. He looked to be in his late 20s and had more of a wide receiver’s build than that of a tight end. I took the long way around to his location in order to get a good look at him. I took a deep breath as I rounded the corner and approached him. I stuck out my hand and introduced myself, then I popped the question: Any chance you can show me what it would be like to get busted for shoplifting? He looked at me puzzled. I explained that I had never been in trouble and have always wondered what it felt like. Next thing I know, the mall cop is speaking into the radio clipped on his right shoulder.

As the seconds passed, my body warmed up and I started to feel embarrassed. After some back and forth over the radio, the officer asked me a few questions, was I on drugs, did I have any health conditions, why would I want to experience that? I assured him I was sober, healthy, and curious enough to ask. By the time his questions were answered, a gentleman in a black polo shirt holding a radio had arrived on the scene. He introduced himself as the head of security for the mall and asked me the same questions I had just answered for the other officer. He didn’t have the happiest look on his face and asked me to follow him. Two other officers walked up during his questioning. They walked along each side of me, and the original contact followed closely behind me.

The head of security opened a door that was not very noticeable and led to the back halls of the mall. I walked through, followed by the officer. The head of security closed the door and began barking out commands for me to stop and place my hands on my head and spread my legs. I complied with his requests and thought to myself, Oh shit, this is really happening. He then expressed his annoyance with the request I had made and was aware that I had been asking for a while for this to happen. He asked if I had a sexual interest in being arrested and I assured him I did not.

He told me to move to the wall and place my hands as high as I could. My legs were kicked apart and the head of security gave me a thorough pat down, removing all objects from my pockets and handing them to the officers surrounding me. With his hand on my back, the head of security turned and called for a pair of cuffs from an officer. I watched him press the handcuff on my right wrist while my hand was on the wall. It was yanked behind me and my left wrist was quickly grabbed and pulled back as well. I heard the sound of the cuff locking in place. Both cuffs were tightened to fit snuggly on my wrists. The head of security took a key from his pocket and double locked the cuffs.

I was then ordered to walk. An officer took hold of the cuffs behind my back and led me towards an elevator door. Once it arrived, I was told to enter and face the back wall. The officers made comments about how stupid I was and asked again if I was turned on by being cuffed. I had no way of hiding the tent that was being pitched in my pants but continued to deny finding any pleasure in what was happening to me. The elevator went down to the lowest level of the mall and there was a small office at the end of a shirt dark corridor.

I was led into the office. The head of security rounded the desk. He hollered for me to sit down but then said I didn’t deserve a chair and told an officer to remove it. I dropped to my knees in front of his desk, hands still cuffed behind me. The head of security called for my possessions and took my ID out of my wallet. He began writing my personal information down on several pieces of paper and didn’t say a word until he has stopped writing. I grew uncomfortable on my knees and moved to my butt crossing my legs in front of me. He then began reading a proclamation stating that I was banned from being on the property for a period of three years. He added in a few choice comments of his own that were not contained on the paper. He asked if I understood the consequence, to which I replied that I did. He stated that if I were to be found in the mall during the time of my banishment, I would immediately be arrested by city police. I again acknowledged my understanding.

The head of security then rounded the desk and told me to stand up. I stumbled in a few attempts to get to my feet and was helped up by one of the mall cops. He produced the key from his pocket and removed the cuffs from my wrists. I noticed some deep red grooves on my wrists once I brought my hands to the front of me and rubbed them. The head of security handed back my wallet, ID and keys and said I had to get out of his office. The three mall cops escorted me down the hallway and through a door, which put us back in the populated area of the mall. Two of the officers stopped there. The original officer I approached walked with me to the nearest mall exit. On the way I asked him a few questions about where he got his gear from and he refused to respond. He opened the doors to the parking area and reminded me not to come back with a snap in his voice.

Of course I returned to the mall a few times during the next few years and never had any problems. I saw the head of security at a baseball game, which later that summer and assumed he may have switched jobs. He never said anything but gave me a long stare. I never found out what happened to the papers that were filled out. I wonder if the officers had really discussed my question asking and were waiting for me to do it one more time to show me what was up. I wonder if secretly, the head of security enjoyed putting me through all that just as much as I enjoyed all that he dished out.