All posts by JocKDieseL


By JocKDieseL

I’ve made several references to the time when I was 19-20 years old and lived a 24-7 Dom/sub lifestyle with John, the man I called my “handler.” I’ll write more about him and our time together, but I wanted to give everyone a reality check on that situation.

Yes, I had some amazing experiences. I felt like a rock star with all the attention paid to me. I was groomed for performance like an athlete or a racehorse. I was worked out, nearly naked almost all the time, measured biweekly and my progress monitored. I was told what to eat, when to sleep, and how to behave. I was dressed in great clothes by my handler John, and paraded around at parties like a trophy. I was to be the picture of raw youth, John’s “diamond in the rough.” I was charming, deferential, devoted, smart, with just enough dirt under my nails to keep me “in my place,” unrefined and sexy, to impress John’s acquaintances. John was proud of me, and I was proud of myself.

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