A Metalbond reader named “T” sent this picture of himself along with a note. Seems like his question might be better answered by Dan Savage, but he came to Metalbond for advice so let’s take a look and you guys can weigh in in the comments section.
Dear Metal,
I read your blog and was wondering if you would post a question for your readers.
My boyfriend is the top in our relationship and continually accuses me of cheating on him because I’m unable to answer his calls or texts on my many work trips.
We’ve been dating for 18 months, and the sex is sill amazing. He’s not really kinky but not vanilla either. He loves to play with my ass and will pin me down when fucking.
So, I was thinking of bringing up the idea of introducing chastity to our relationship so he feels more comfortable. Should I talk it over with him or just buy a device, put it on, and give him the key?
-T
OK guys, do you have any advice for this guy?
Buy it (I’d go for a Steelheart, or Holy Trainer if you fly a lot) and give him the key.
I think you should start with asking why he doesn’t trust you. Perhaps invite him along to one of your business trips and let him see you’re not up to anything, tho he’d probably think it was a set up as he seems to be distrustful.
As for the device, if that’s what it takes and what you want, talk it over first. Unfortunately I think the problem is deeper than that. Enjoy the sex while it lasts. If it doesn’t it won’t be your fault.
Seriously? Dump the S.O.B. as fast as you can – he sounds like a real problem.
It has been my experience that men who are very distrustful in a relationship are themselves the ones who are fooling around on the sly.
Get the chastity device, but it sounds like your bf should be the one wearing it.
You should also have a frank talk about monogomy and the reasons why that is so important to you both.
Good luck.
I agree with slavebladeboi, if the issue is trust, no piece of metal or plastic is going to fix it. Trust happens before the device goes on, not after.
If there is an underlying lack of trust then introducing kink is not likely to resolve the situation. It sounds like in depth communication is required to get to the root cause of any problems, and once those have been identified and resolved is the time to think about getting locked.
What everyone else above said, yes. What they’re not saying is this: He is an abusive BF. Whether you see it or not, I see it. It starts out with him not trusting you, then it escalates from there. You are in for trouble if you stay with him. GET OUT, NOW!
Even the best relationships can have periods of distrust – my bf and I had it 18 months in – especially when I travelled for biz. Now, 3 years in, it’s not even a concern. Open discussion on sex interests REALLY helped, especially when I “came clean” on kink interests, and we started playing in that way from time to time.
As for chastity, I got a Holy Trainer, gave him the key 4 weeks ago, and have been locked up since. And we’re an even better couple now!