By Pisslurper
About six weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me an email with a link to a website for a jail in Iowa. Not an ordinary jail, but an old, historic jail that someone had purchased and is now offering to incarcerate people for a fee. The pictures of the place were hot as hell, an authentic old county jail built in 1880 and used for over 100 years. The place looked tiny, only three cells, but it was a real jail and looked a bit hardcore.
I knew right away that I couldn’t pass up on this opportunity. It turns out I had some unused vacation due, so I emailed the jail and set up a three day visit.
For the next six weeks, I have been obsessively poring over and over the pictures and instructions on that website. I planned out a two-day drive to Iowa, and endlessly fantasized about my upcoming jail stay.
The jailor emailed me to park next to the jail, and he will meet me at my car. I’m expecting to be ‘arrested’ at my car and brought into the jail in handcuffs. The jail is located downtown in a small Iowa town, next door to the Methodist church. Since I’m showing up at noon on Sunday, I’m a little worried about church goers and passersby seeing me as I get brought around to the jail entrance, which is on the opposite side of the building than the parking lot. But, I guess that is all part of the experience. I’m not sure what is more humiliating, being a convict or being a pervert who pays to have someone lock him up in jail.
Reporting to jail
The jailor instructed me to park in the parking spots off the alley to one side of the jail. I parked underneath the barred windows of the jail, and in seconds the deputy was coming out a door on the side of the building, yelling at me to put my hands on the steering wheel. Before I knew it, he had me with my hands on the roof of the car, and then cuffed with my hands behind my back. He emptied my pockets and gave me a pat down before marching me around the back of the building to the entrance to the jail.