The difference between consensual play and abuse

By Metalbond

Guys, I have said this before, but it bears repeating now, because this is important.

A lot of what is depicted on this site involves what appears to be forced action, torture, beatings and the like … but please know that everything shown here is consensual. That is, nobody depicted on this website is getting restrained and beaten up against his will.

It’s never acceptable to put another human being in physical restraints against his or her will, or to do anything to another person that he or she does not want to have happen.

All of the porn pictures you see here about a supposedly “straight” guy getting tricked into bondage and then mercilessly fucked, forced to suck cock and pissed on, well … as you probably know all of that is fantasy. They guy is a paid porn actor, and he wants it. That’s why every Bound Gods and Bound In Public video begins and ends with an interview with the subjects, in which they discuss this. Sure, it may look like things are getting a bit rough at times, but everyone needs to know that nobody is getting beaten up against his will.

Of course many of us fantasize about being tied up and “worked over” hard by a sadistic prison guard or military drill instructor, or doing that to another guy, and there is nothing wrong with having such interests and desires … but there is a difference between such a fantasy, and what can cross the line into actual abuse.

Personally, I have been in situations where that line has been crossed, and it is not pleasant, not hot, and it is definitely not acceptable.

Many of my more vanilla gay friends, guys who know what I am into but really don’t “get it,” if you know what I mean, sometimes crack jokes that rub me the wrong way. We’ll be at a bar or party and there will be some annoying guy, acting like a creep, and they will say something like, “why don’t you go get your gag and shut that guy up” or “he belongs locked up in your cage.”

But what I always try to explain, to make really clear to them, is that I don’t have any desire whatsoever to put my handcuffs on any guy who does not WANT that to happen. I guess I am just not wired that way.

The bottom line is that it’s OK to have a fantasy about something that is truly forced, to beat off about it while looking at porn, or even to “act out” such things in “role play” … as long as whatever you do in real life is consensual.




3 thoughts on “The difference between consensual play and abuse”

  1. Thanks Metal!
    Let me add, even when in a long term relationship when one has presumably given up his rights to a Master, there are negotiations that usually take place through conversation as the relationship evolves.

  2. Sir, thank You for Your commentary on consensual. i would like to contribute something to the flip side: the thrill of consensual. What motivates a slave? i have been in many S&M sessions and it is the combination of dread/fear of the punishment to come, plus the thrill/love even of subjugating myself to a Master. i feel the dread as a cold spot in my stomach. I feel the thrill in my dick. Always both are present.
    i worked with two Masters and the trust between Them and me progressed to the point of “no safe word.” What a thrill that was! i was totally locked into Their Wills with no way out (although, truth be told, since They were excellent Masters, They carefully observed my body language for undue stress). It’s role play, of course, but once trust and consensuality (interesting play on words) have been established, it’s easy to pretend it’s totally real. The pain certainly is real, as well as the sexual “degradation,” and humiliation.
    i crave the pain, of course. It’s freeing, purifying, focusing. But i also crave the total freedom which comes from being a slave to a Master. i have no idea what He is going to do next. my life is totally in His Hands.
    i once worked with a Master and early in the relationship i was spread eagled on His bed getting a beating. He asked me what i thought and i said: “Fantastic game, Sir!” He got furious with me. “This is NOT a game, boy,” he yelled, beating my ass some more. “Your life is literally in my fucking hands!” i will never forget that lesson. He was One of the Guys i progressed to “no safe word” with. Excellent Master! How i miss Him.
    i think i also understand what the Master might feel, although this is quite brazen for a slave. i can see the need to totally dominate another man with the knowledge that You can do (almost) anything to him. That’s the flipside of the slave’s freedom. i also see the need to inflict pain, to hear another man scream at Your Hands, then to get Your Rocks off in any hole of Your choosing.
    We/we need each other. And when there’s a match, the sparks fly!
    Thanks for tolerating this rave. It’s a shame i’m a bit old to play. i do appreciate Your pix, however. Excellent, Sir, simply excellent.
    Thank You
    oldboybill (formerly boybill!)

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