A blog reader who wishes to remain anonymous sent the following email to me:

Dear Metal,

when i was in design school, we had this shop and a faculty member ran it that was all about big tools and cutting things – whatever.  so i met this master online and i was young and thinking i was going to be his slave for life and so when i finally met him he did offer to put his collar on me and i accepted thinking it would change my life and I’d be his forever.  so i had this huge chain on my neck with a padlock.  he left then when the weekend was over and he lived out-of-state from me and i forget when we were going to meet again (plan was for me to move to him after school, hahaha in like years). anyways, my life didn’t fill with sparks with the collar on and i figured it actually wasn’t what i wanted.  so i did tell him and he did say he was going to mail me the key.  anyways, like 2 weeks went by and i just got scared and no key came and so i actually went to the wood shop and told the faculty guy that i “lost” the key and would he please find some way to get that thing off of me. hahahhahahahaha.

his grin was so huge.  he was the cheshire cat in alice in wonderland.  he didn’t say much.  he just grinned.  damn, i should have checked his pants for tentage but i wasn’t thinking like that at the time but now that i think of it, he was so enjoying me chained up.  but he yelled for his student assistant to hold the chain away from my neck while he grabbed this massive chain cutter and snapped my chain off like an icicle. hahahahhahahahahahhaa.

it was funny.  i just said thank you so much and went on my freedom way. hahahahahhahaha.

the key showed up like a week later.

Thanks, anonymous blog reader, for sharing this story!