Tag Archives: reader contributions

Second letter received

I received another letter in my in-box today from my acquaintance. I think he is in Iowa:

 

Date: Sunday

Metal,

Just a quick note to let you know where I am in my travels. I zipped by the Jail on my way through town a few minutes ago. I wanted to find a gas station first, and get the car filled up. I did not want to find a reason to linger here any longer than I needed to after getting the business done at the jail.

As I drove by, I thought that the Jail building was a bit odd. The exterior from the street is kind of interesting in that classic late 19th century American Italianate style, but it has not painted in a welcoming warm color that would befit its design. Nothing warm and Meditreaning like here, instead, the exterior is painted in this rather institutional and foreboding penal gray color with the exterior plaster garlands over the windows painted black. Not the best curb appeal if you would ever want to attract buyers, but who would want to buy a jail, anyway?

It is rather hot and windy today. Not really that fun to be outside, but it beats rain and snow. I have put gas in the car, and I am parked across the street from the Jail in the parking lot of the local post office. I have kind of a line of sight of the place. I am not certain if I am really stalking it, but yes, I am stalling a bit. I wanted to get some little things done on my phone before I get going again in a bit.

Okay, okay. Time to get this grim task done. I will circle back with you in another message in a day or so.

PS. Gosh, all of the sudden I really need to piss.

Letter received today from an acquaintance

I received this letter in my in-box today:

 

Date: Friday

Metal,

I have been thinking of you since we last ran into each other at the flea market some time ago.  I thought I would check in.  I do not think I told you, but I need to fix an outstanding legal issue of some unpaid court costs and fines.  I have let it go for far too long, and I am not that motivated to fix it, but I need to fix it before I get stopped for speeding or something and subsequently find myself, rather unplanned, in the back of the cop car.

I have to admit that I have mixed emotions getting this fixed.  Every time I see a cop or a corrections officer wearing handcuffs on his belt, I get that pit-in-my-stomach feeling that feels like you are feeling hunted. But also, oddly, sometimes the sight of handcuffs makes me hard.  I think that why we connect so well!  I know that I have been not the most law-abiding person out there.  I have cut corners. I have taken advantage of situations that are unintended but are favorable to me.  Given, the right circumstances, I can be shifty. I have worked on being a better person, and I think that if I worked at it harder, seeing a cop with cuffs on his belt would not bother me as much as it sure does now.  However, I know my innate character well.  I guess deep down inside we all know who we really and actually are.

I have worked hard to improve my potential and have found more than good success in my career and elsewhere.   Getting lodged into jail would feel like a set-back, a humiliation.  As they say, “Orange may not be your color”….   It is something that I want to avoid, but I think I can finesse this one.  As you know I am going to be on the road and I going to drive through this town and get things taken care of.  I have to admit a certain, if not substantial degree of apprehension about reporting to the Jail office there to make payment.  However, since I will be cruising through the town on a Sunday, the only place that I could make the payment was at the Jail office.

I will have the dosh with me to pay them off, but I anticipate that they will rough me up a bit as these folks tend to so.  I anticipate that they will not make it pleasant but I do not think I will find my way behind bars.  I do not think one has to imagine much, but I think being in Jail must be one of the most boring things that one can do or be required to do.  I am hopeful that I can talk my way out of it, or perhaps give a bribe or something if need be – which as I think about it sounds really stupid – scratch that.

I checked with the Jailer this morning, Friday, and he knows that I will be stopping by on Sunday to pay off the fines and fees.   He was a bit nonchalant about it all.  No chit chat here, nine simple words was all; “we’ll take care of it when you get here” and that was that.  I wish I could say that I was encouraged, but I just hope it is easy, fast and resolved quickly.

I will keep you posted.

Special investigative report from Surfbot on wearing chastity through airport security

Surfbot sent the report below via email. Surfbot writes:

Dear Metal,

I recently went through O’Hare airport security while locked in my stainless steel chastity device. The metal detector beeped (of course), and I told them I was wearing a chastity device which could not be removed. They manually searched me, and used a detector wand that verified the problem area was my crotch. They wiped their gloves on my clothes there, then wiped the gloves on a small piece of paper, which they put through a machine that detects bomb chemicals; clean.

They futzed around for another 5 minutes and then a supervisor came and told me my device needed to be “cleared.” She talked around the issue but never actually said they needed to see it. After 5 more minutes standing around, two men led me to a small, private room — they carried my stuff, still in plastic tubs from going through the X-ray (I was not allowed to touch it). In the room they told stories to each other for 5 minutes or so, and finally asked me to lower my pants. Three seconds looking was enough, and they told me to get dressed and pack up my stuff.

One of them asked whether I could urinate in it, and I said, “Of course, there’s a small hole in it.” I’m guessing there were two of them to avoid accusations of abuse; they sure were in no hurry. I was surprised they were not more familiar with chastity devices, given the enormous number of people they screen. Total time was about 20 minutes; I had made sure there was a lot more time than that until my flight.

— Surfbot

 

Thanks, Surfbot, for the report!