By ty dehner

This is going to be a long entry, i believe. Not just because it will cover the events through the weekend, but because of more feelings that are stirring in me. i have been under the guidance of Sir for 5 days now, longer than anyone that i’ve tried to serve. As i’ve written before, Sir is very different than those and our time together is reflecting that.

Friday night at the gym was very exciting. i continued to learn new ways to transform myself into a better person physically. i was lifting weight i had never done before. But instead of lifting the same weight over and over, Sir is showing me to lift heavy and keep lowering the weight until exhaustion. Or one can start lighter and build up. It creates more burn in myself, but the prior way i was working wasn’t progressing as well as i had hoped.

Sir did some lifting also, i was very impressed with his skills, considering he said he hadn’t lifted in a while due to being ill. Once Sir topped his personal best in weight. He was very happy! i tried to encourage him as he was lifting. As we continued working out, i will try to encourage him even more. i know Sir would like to hear his boy cheering him on, supporting him. Even though i am lifting more and working harder, i am not sore the day after. i believe that stretching is helping in that. Sir is showing me a new way to think about working out. i like that!

Friday night we returned home. i fixed Sir a fruit plate and he sat and read my journal more. He continues to tell me that he enjoys my journal. i am glad, for it is one thing i do well. There are things that i know Sir must be disappointed with me. But as much as i want to be excellent in everything for him, i cannot at this time. And at times, i disappoint myself. There are many hurdles for me to face and tackle. Sir knows that going into this. i think he is looking for potential, more than “out of the box” perfect.

After he read my journal, he had me suck on his toes through his socks he wore to the gym. i was delighted to serve him this way. At one point, he wanted more spit in my mouth. So, he ordered me to my dog water bowl. i crawled on all fours, soaked up the water and returned to Sir. and continue sucking his socks. Then his socks were removed and i was able to give his feet a total cleaning using my tongue. This was the perfect position for me. Serving my Master, no matter his request. After the foot cleaning, Sir let me lay on top of him and we spent time in extreme closeness. We kissed, hugged, touched each other. i feel so secure in his arms, a great feeling for a boy.

Sir was tired from a long day at work, so we started to get ready for bed. Sir ordered me to the bathroom and in the tub. i thought he was going to bath me. He had me close my eyes. Then i felt it, his warm piss on my hairless slave body. The ultimate in submission. Sir pissed on my chest, crotch and face. i loved that he was re-stating his position of dominance over me. i had turned myself over to him 3 days before and was not regretting a moment. When he was finished, i was ordered to shower. Then Sir showered, i dried him off and we went to bed. We spent more time together closely, then gradually falling asleep.

Saturday morning came. This was going to be our first full day together. We spent some wonderful time in bed, together, touching and feeling each other. Sir continues to love to tickle the bottoms of my feet. It makes me laugh and i believe he enjoys that. How helpless i feel at that moment. He also loves getting me hard and bringing me near orgasm. As of tomorrow, i will not have cum for 2 weeks. This is a personal best and i hope it shows Sir my dedication to him. Of course, many would be surprised to learn that since we’ve been together, Sir has not cum either. i know he wants to fuck me, as i wish i could let him. i give Sir credit, because other “Masters” i’ve been with want me to suck them off day and night and shoot 3-4 times a day! But being with Sir continues to show me more. While i have no doubt that he enjoys the sexual aspects of a M/s relationship, it is not the only reason to enter one. Nor the only thing to do in a relationship. It is a piece that creates the whole.

We had a small breakfast, then headed to the gym. This day included aerobic working out, swimming and a moment in the hot tub. i was pushed to my limits on the treadmill and Stairmaster. We even did some running around the track. The swimming was great, i enjoyed getting back into the water again. We showered at the gym. i found myself not being self-conscious about my being totally shaved. Frankly, a few other guys there might have looked better shaved. Sir had shown me not to worry about what others think. The only real opinion that matters right now are Sir’s and mine, and eventually mine will matter less and less.

We returned home, visited and rested for a while. Then headed to a Mexican restaurant. Sir ordered me to drink a margarita. i have never really drank. But without hesitation i ordered one. In my mind i wondered why i did that. i was breaking one my personal vows. Oh, i knew i wasn’t going to get drunk or anything like that. Is Sir really taking control of me that i am not realizing it? Or am i submitting to easily. These were things i was seriously thinking about. At what point do i say no, have the right to say no at this point in our relationship. These are difficult questions. Ones i have no answers to. i didn’t regret drinking the margarita, except for the taste. i did enjoy that feeling of submission and control the Master exerted at that moment. Very subtle but another step-in control.

After dinner, we went to a body building competition. As i watched i was able to see the difference in each contestant, based on what i had learned from the information in my assignments. i wondered if Sir would like to have a boy up on that stage. Heck could i be that boy. It would be a lot of difficult work, especially working full time and being in the service of a Master. i have the feeling the Master would have to sacrifice time and projects for his boy to workout. But the reward might come on the winners stand when a boy would acknowledge the wisdom and guidance of his Master in public for all the know.

i enjoyed talking with Sir about the contest and his level. Although i don’t know as much as he, i could respond back with some confidence in my words. After a while we left the competition. Sir said he had some training he wanted to do with me tonight. The van wouldn’t start because of a faulty security system. Sir was very upset. When people i am with get this way, i am very uncomfortable. i don’t know how to respond or act. It’s not the getting upset, heck even i do that at times. But i think it is the feeling of being helpless in helping them. And i don’t say much, since some find that annoying. So i just stay to the side, helping when asked. This would be the hardest part of a relationship for me, i know. It bothers me to see people i care about getting worked up over things. i would never tell them how to act, for that is who they are. i guess that it is the part of me that wants them to have good things and times. It is difficult and something i’ve never expressed until writing this journal.

The van started, and we returned home. i did my weighing in. Sir had me drink some wine and my training began. Putting my hands in socks, Sir went to work at making me a mummy, a helpless mummy. First, he used plastic wrap, then duct tape. i was secure. He laid me on the floor and he took care of my feet. Of course, he didn’t pass up the opportunity to tickle them. But soon they were wrapped and taped. Then my head, my eyes were taped, as was my mouth, including under the chin. Sir said i had been ungagging myself to easily. He put cloth around my head, then wrap and tape. The only free area on my entire body was my nose. Sir cut the plastic on my tits and installed suction cups. i was totally helpless. Sir reminded me of that as he put a strap of tape over my nose, he even controlled my breathing. He removed the tape and replaced it with a plastic bag over my head. i could remember the strong smell of the ether Sir had me use the other night. i was helpless and getting light headed. Sir cut the cocoon around my cock and balls and pulled them out. i struggled as Sir toyed with them. At one-point i almost shot my load, but Sir ordered me not to and i didn’t really want to experience the consequences.

As he toyed with his captive slave, he told me friends were going to come over. i was going to be plastered and put into a pine box, loaded into a rental truck and delivered to a new Master. As the vapors toyed with me, i really wasn’t sure if he meant it. He was using a scene from one of my writings. i heard him talk on the phone after dialing it. i heard the pictures being taken with his camera, i’d even seen the plaster of Paris in his closet. And he did spend time in private each evening. What i thought about was that in my writing the boy ends up with his original Master. i very much trusted Sir, and knew no harm was going to come. To help in his scenario, Sir reminded me that my best friend had gotten upset with me on the phone the other day and wasn’t speaking with me. As my friend had stated that Sir was dangerous. This was a good mind fuck. i had to piss something wicked, kind of wished Sir would’ve catheterized me.

Oh sure, i wondered if he was really going to follow through on this scene. i was not scared, especially as i got higher and higher. And in many ways, i wanted his friends to show up, to get bound in plaster, cased in a box and driven around. What awesome submission. The doorbell rang and all i heard was Sir’s voice. At this point i really wondered if this was really happening and if Sir’s friends were there. He told them to have fun with me, so there was some kicking and shoving, nothing bad. Then Sir laid on top of me and ended the masquerade. He was just having fun with my mind. i was very relaxed cause of the ether i was breathing in. Sir was getting me ready for bed, telling me i was going to sleep as a mummy. i said i wanted to sleep with him. He offered to set me free, if i could escape. i worked my hands to the hole for my cock and balls and ripped the cocoon apart, like an alien coming out of a chest. When i finally got my lips and face free, i grabbed Sir, pulled him to me and gave him a huge kiss in thanks for caring about me and showing me a wonderful time! After a brief wind down, i told him i wanted him to fuck me. Oh man, did i ever want to totally submit. He ordered me to the bed and tied me down spread eagle. In my relaxed state he got some fingers in me. Then he entered and after a bit, i let him in. It was an awesome feeling. i wanted more but couldn’t. Sir worked my ass, even after coming out. Soon, i believe he came. i truly hope so, for i really wanted him too, as well as understanding my continued submission to him. my ass is his, it needs practice to let him totally dominate me.

After he released me, we climbed into bed together. Hugging, kissing and i truly loved the position in was in. Knowing that perhaps i’ve found a truly wonderful potential Master.

We woke late in the morning, Sunday. i am really enjoying waking up next to Sir. There is a security there that i have never felt. He wants to control me, but he also wants to protect me. As i got up, the after effects of the fun from last night were very apparent. i had a headache and queasy stomach. We fixed some breakfast and then did our stretching. We were going to the gym, but i began to wonder if my stomach can handle that. Sir’s concerns were very touching to me. Some so called “Masters” would just tell the boy to get his ass in gear. Not Sir. How can a boy serve his Master well if he not well?

Sir decided to head out, stop at the store and check things out. The fresh air felt good. But the store was closed. Sir decided that we’d drive around, and he’d show me areas he’d like to live in. He was bit stiff from the work out the day before so i think he liked the idea of taking a break.

At one point we stopped at a garage sale at a huge home. But it was very disappointing. The older homes that we saw where beautiful. i’ve always thought an old home has more character. Sir also feels this way. We stopped at one open house. i know Sir and i had some wicked ideas as we checked out the attic and the dungeon, i mean basement. We laughed how fun it would be to go house hunting in full leather. Having the boy test the basement heights, the closets, etc.

We found some new condos and stopped to check them out. After viewing the model, we found the storage cages. i could feel Sir’s mind working. But i think he sense it was not the right place for whatever his plan was. We checked out a unit under construction. Out on the deck there was a storage unit. Sir had me step in with him and shut the door. The Strip Command came and in less than a minute, i was naked in the construction site. i kissed Sir’s shoes thanking him for letting me come with him as we house hunted. Then he had me get dressed. As i returned into the building, Sir had a great smile on his face. He wished he had brought his camera, but at least he has the image of my submission to him, naked, kissing his shoes. What a sight to see this hairless big boy kneeling before his Master.

We continued on to some small shops. Sir took my picture in a park, he was testing his new digital camera. He later showed them to me. That no hair look is beginning to grow on me. But to me it is a look that only Sir deserves. If for whatever reason we do not continue this quest, i do not think that i will remain shaved. To me it is a dedication to him. Without him, it is meaningless. We checked out the gay bookstore, then had some lunch. Eating helped to settle my stomach.

We returned home, i did my weigh in, after The Strip Command. Then we got ready to go out to the movies. Before leaving, Sir locked handcuffs around my cock and balls. And then i was rewarded with a chain collar and lock. i thanked Sir for the collar. While it is only a symbol, for the true submission is in the mind, not a collar around the neck. It was still special for Sir to lock it on me. i enjoyed feeling the cuffs and collar during the movie.

After returning, i stripped and waited for Sir. Eventually, as he talked on the phone, i removed his boots, massaged his feet, then removed his socks and cleaned his feet with my tongue. A couple of times Sir tickled my feet. It was very difficult not to make a sound as he talked on the phone. i think he was talking with a prospective boy, someone i think he cared for a lot, but things weren’t working out. Whatever the situation, i continue working towards my goal of service to Sir. To let him know that i am the boy that will fill his life.

Later in the evening, i showed Sir my work on the computer, as well as some BDSM pictures from the web. That was followed by Sir cleaning my feet with his tongue. What a feeling he gave me. This a guy that realizes the special feelings of touch, warmth, and tenderness, as well as the excitement of domination. i’ve never met one guy that understood these things and to put them together to create great times and emotions. He even took my little balls in his mouth as well as my dick. How i wanted to shoot but would never do so without permission. We soon returned to bed, for Sir had to work in the morning.

And now it is Monday afternoon. Sir will be home soon, he didn’t come home for lunch. He was hoping to be off tomorrow. i hope so, cause i think it might be our last day together. i have truly enjoyed my time hear in Chicago and have no regrets about taking the trip. But i have spent a lot of time alone, away from all aspects of my life. i know that i would never want to be a stay at home boy. How dull it would be to a Master. At times i still feel like a stranger here. i don’t know what Sir is feeling. But i know that i am getting restless to get home and get things to continue forward. How i would love for that forward movement to be in the direction of Chicago. And if i did move here, would we start a 24/7 right away or build up to it.

i really wish i had the money and a job right now, for i would like to stay through the weekend. Sir is so interesting, funny and he has the same little wicked side that i do. i want someone that will hold me, make me feel special as i will make him feel very special and proud.

But the reality is that if i don’t return home soon, it will only delay any chance of our coming together, my submission to Sir. i would value the opportunity to help in making his dreams into a reality and a success. To use my great mind and skills along with his awesome mind and talent to help him achieve greatness doing what he loves. While i believe in my dreams, nothing is more satisfying than helping others achieve their dreams. Especially if they mean so much to you and your life.

In some way, i’d like to just not return to Seattle. Leaving my stuff behind. But i have never run or hide, and some ways that would be what i would be doing. i must face that i have to return home, and Sir has to be here without me. We both have many things to think about, to ponder and to discuss.

No doubt that this week has left an impact on me, in my mind, my heart, my soul and my continued quest to discover the real me. Has it made that impact on Sir, i will never know. i do sense a trust and kindness in him as well as a warmth of sharing. His knowledge and tenderness with me. i can truly tell that he wants me to succeed in all that i do. That takes a lot for any man to do. To share his time, home and a bit of his life with someone he met online two weeks ago.

My satisfaction of knowing i’ve done well, will only be haunted by my impatience of wanting to know when and if things will continue, can they continue are they meant to continue and how, what does Sir really feel about us and me.

These are all difficult questions and emotions. For i know in my heart that things will progress slowly. For good things take time to develop, learn and grow. i will never meet someone like Sir again, i know that. And i can promise that he will never meet anyone like this boy. Getting on that plane in a few days will be difficult. For as long as i am here the hope remains alive, but the moment i leave the string is broken for both of us. Everyday life beings again, engagements, friends, family, distance and time work against us. Challenging us even more. Challenging us to search deep inside ourselves to learn and feel our real emotions and to discover who we are. It will be difficult, but it can happen, if we both want, if we both need and we both believe.

 

To be continued …