I was blushing furiously. This was the part of my toy collection that I had never shown to Adin. It seemed like an obvious bridge too far for a straight friend.
Now he was sitting naked in my living room, with me trussed up in leather and steel, my hormones set on an artificial rampage by an experimental drug, and he had been examining things that had been in my ass. With a desperate expression, I shook my head back and forth. This can’t be happening!
He smirked at me. Christ, what had gotten in to him? I’d known him for years; I knew him so well I could pick out girls he would find attractive; so well that I knew he would be glad for me that I got a new toy and no, he would not like to try it on.
The stuff that had gone on tonight was enough to make me wonder a bit about just how straight he was, but it had all been within the range of the secret fantasies in which he starred. But I never, never thought he would be anything but grossed out by ass play of any sort.
Hell, I had been grossed out, the first few years when I went to Mr. S and tried to rush past the section with the dildos and plugs and enema kits; working hard to not see any of it.
I was starting to wonder if I was hallucinating this whole night.
Looking concerned, Adin unbuckled the pecker gag and took it from my mouth. He set it on the coffee table, asking “Is something wrong?”
“Dude, that’s what I want to ask you. What is going on with you tonight?”
“What do you mean? I feel great.”
“This isn’t like you at all. I mean, I get why you would want me to try your new drug, and I appreciate it. I really appreciate you letting me open up to you too. But I feel like you’ve turned into an entirely different person.”
“Don’t you like this person?” He sat down facing me, legs extended, leaning back on his hands. It was such an open, inviting pose. And he was buck naked.
“Adin, I love you. I just wonder what’s bringing all this on.”
He looked thoughtful and said, “I guess it must have been the other drug.”
“Well, you know the guys at the lab dosed me with the horny drug, right? But then…”
“Wait, what do you mean they dosed you? This wasn’t part of human trials or your research work?”
“Oh, the trials were done a while ago, as far as they got. We had done all the AI simulations, the null clone trials, and first human trials. There were no health concerns, but they canceled the trials immediately when they realized what the first hour was like. They had wanted a mix that combined the horniness of brem with some extra staying power like dapoxetine. I don’t think they were too happy with the three days of staying power either. So Ted and Shane sneaked up on me and gave me a whiff. Ha ha.”
I shook my head. “Jesus!”
“Yeah. But the thing is, when I could move again and I went back to work on my project, I was still horny as hell, and I got pretty, aaah, distracted. I was kinda, ummm, spazzing out while I was leaning on my workstation.” He made a wanking gesture as he said this. “My hand slipped, and it came down on a vial of my latest sample. I didn’t think it could enter through the skin.”
“What were you working on? Did you get a doctor to check you out?”
“Nah, like I said, I didn’t think any of it was in me, and if I had reported it, there would have been a full incident investigation, and Ted and Shane and I would probably all be out on our asses.”
“You didn’t say what you’re working on.”
“It’s supposed to be something that boosts emotional cognition.”
“What does that mean?”
He grinned. “You know. Emo shit!”
“I’m kinda being serious here, Adin”
He looked at me more solemnly. “I know, but that’s what it is. How well you process emotional signals. Your own or other people’s. Like emotional cues. Body language, facial expression, even smell. Like, you smell great right now.”
“I’m sweaty and stinky!”
“Yeah, and the stink is saying good things.”
“So you think this sample just happened to work? And now you’re an emotional genius? Analyzing my pheromones.”
“I didn’t say that. I have no idea. I didn’t really feel any different. I was still horny as fuck, so that was what I was focused on. But at some point during the day, I was thinking about the brem and how you would probably think it was cool. And then I knew you should do some, and why. I thought about whether it would be too, you know, gay, but I that’s when I realized, like I said earlier, that I was strong enough to stand up to any homo-energy you could throw at me, and anyway I didn’t see any point in worrying about which kinds of fun I’m supposed to have with my own body.”
I stared at my friend, not knowing what to think. Was he right? Was this the result of improved ‘emotional cognition’? Or was helpless at the hands of a guy whose judgment was impaired by a strange drug? Was the effect temporary? Was he going to wake up in the morning with a hangover and be freaked out by what he was doing with me, and then never speak to me again?
Suddenly he leapt forward and wrapped me in a bear hug. Quietly, in my ear, he said, “This is real, my friend. Stop doubting it.”
Huh, maybe he was an emotional genius.
“Or maybe it turned you gay,” I blurted. Like one of those straight-to-gay mind control stories. Not that I’ve ever read one. Or heard of them. Ever.
“You wish! I fall on the sexual spectrum where I always have. But like I said, a lot of what we do or don’t do is just trying to live up to arbitrary definitions. Not only is it a spectrum rather than an X or Y situation, but we each have ranges on that spectrum.”
“Um, how big is your range?”
“Big enough to enjoy seeing you having fun.”
My heart surged. God, I loved this guy, even if he was drug-addled. I kinda wish he had some to share. Like I always do, I started gaming out the future, so I asked him, “So, do you think you’ll ever want to tie me up again?”
“You know, I always thought all this gear and setting up and stuff was a pretty elaborate way to avoid getting to the main event. Especially that chastity belt! Now I’m sure of it, but I’m having a lot more fun with it than I thought I would.”
Eagerly, I said, “I can show you how it feels to…”
“Yeah, yeah. I know your sales pitch. Let’s play it by ear. Remember, we’re best friends, but not lovers, and I don’t want you to use any fun we have to keep you from finding the right guy.”
Dammit, that made sense.
“Now,” he said, holding up the butt plug. “What is it about this thing that made all the blood in your body head to your face?”
Just like that, I was blushing again. “Uh, you DO know what that is, don’t you?”
He gave a scornful “Chya!”
“And you know, uh, where it’s been?”
He dropped it as if it had burned his hands. “Has it been… someplace… GAY????”
“Look, I keep them clean… really clean. Before and after. But it has in fact been up my butt.”
“The gay place”, he intoned, with mock dread.
“It just seems to me that most straight guys don’t want to process this stuff. I know I didn’t for a long time. I used to think gay guys did anal because they didn’t have the regular orifice to stick it in. Eventually I found out about the prostate.”
Adin nodded. “I know what you mean. I had a roommate in college who would say that things are only supposed to go one way through the ass, but I pointed out he liked to have anal sex with his girlfriend… In our room… With me there… Trying to sleep.”
He seemed cool with it, so I warmed up to the subject. “Yeah, I’ve never understood how anyone who knows that stimulating the prostate makes getting off feel that much more intense would be so adverse to trying it.”
“That good, huh?”
“Let me put it this way. It’s good enough to make dealing with the hygiene and, well, shit, worthwhile.”
He slapped a hand on his knee. “Whelp, I’m sold. I’d ask you to do me right here, but you seem to be wearing your main event avoider contraptions.”
I laughed, hardly noticing how smoothly he’d made another one of my taboo subjects go away.
“Seriously though, do you want one of these things up your chute right now?”
My eyes rolled back in my head and my dick pulsed a few times. It was freaky how suddenly the hypothalamus could zing me with the right triggers while on this drug. “Ahhhhhhh… no. I don’t think I could handle it right now, and I know I couldn’t handle having you prep me.”
He acted wounded. “Hey, I have a degree in biochemistry you know. I know what tissue looks like!”
“Yeah, but you might slip and accidentally fill my ass with your emotional sensitivity!”
It was getting late. Adin freed my legs, but didn’t let me out of the straitjacket. I went and peed again. When I finished trying to shake the remaining drops from my belt, I was startled and chagrined to find Adin standing in the bathroom doorway. “That image alone makes it all worth it for me!” I kind of cringed away from him while sliding sideways past him into the hallway. “Don’t you even flush?” he said.
Definitely not the real Adin.
He came out a few minutes later, having flushed the toilet. He said, “Do you mind if I spend the night? It’s pretty late for driving home.”
“Not at all. You’re welcome like always.”
“Cool. I think I’ll sleep in your bed, and you can sleep on the floor.”
“I’d let you sleep with me, but you’d be all trying to hump me in your sleep. You still have at least 6 hours of horny drug to go.”
I was well aware of this. All the time we’d been talking, I’d still been dealing with a constant urge to whack off. And as I thought about the timetable, I glumly realized that I wouldn’t actually be getting off until Sunday at the earliest. It was going to be a long weekend.
We discussed sleeping arrangements further, and I actually agreed to sleeping on the floor, on my air mattress, and in my neoprene sleepsack. This was one of my more expensive toys, and I never got to use it, because you can’t exactly put yourself in it. So off came the straitjacket. The air on my skin felt great! I was pretty ripe by then, but Adin said I smelled good. I did a series of stretches and shoulder rolls, then set up the air mattress. I went to brush my teeth and find Adin a new toothbrush.
While he was in brushing his teeth, I went to the drawer in my bedroom where I kept locks and keys. The keys to my belt weren’t there! Bastard! I scanned my bedroom, then went to the living room where he had thrown off his clothes. The keys weren’t in his pockets… where would he hide them? I turned around, and once again Adin startled me watching from a doorway, toothbrush in mouth!
“You know, I’m pretty new to this whole ‘sado-masochism’ thing, but even I know that a chastity belt doesn’t do much good if you can just take it off whenever you want.”
I shrugged, “I have a philosophy about bondage: if you can get out, you must get out.”
“Good man. BDSM QA.”
Then he tucked me in to my neoprene sleepsack with a matching neoprene hood that shut out all light. Even though I owned all this gear, this would be the first time I ever tried to spend the whole night in bondage. I was pretty sure I would not get much sleep, even if I hadn’t had the chastity belt and horny drug to contend with.
The sleepsack kept my legs together and my arms at my sides. It was warm and comfy, and somehow the accumulated sweat did not become so unpleasant as it can do in a latex sack. I was enfolded on all sides with the nylon fabric lining that you get in any wetsuit. The hood made the encasement total, and it also prevented me from being able to tell how much time was passing. I could sort of curl up and lie on my side, but not for long, because I would be lying on my arm; so I was going to spend virtually the whole night stretched out on my back, though I could raise my knees up if I wanted to.
All of this and the fact that someone else had total control over me caused me to rev up to 11 again. Adin had been right about me wanting to hump things. I was amazed at how much time I had spent that night in this state: every nerve zinging with the erotic current that lights up the body before orgasm. For me, it was usually more like 15 minutes per week experiencing that delicious mounting pleasure.
The hood had a breath mask built in, like they use for anesthesia, so I had no uncomfortable pressure on my nose or jaw, and totally unencumbered breathing. It also blocked out 100% of the light, so I was in a sort of sensory deprivation situation. This is one of the effects of total enclosure: while its true that pretty much my whole body was being touched, it experienced a sort of sensory monotony. There was very little variation to the sensory input. At the same time, it could be experienced as sensory overload, especially if you struggled against your confinement.
I alternated between both experiences; struggling and resting. I love struggling against the bonds, because it tests and confirms my helplessness. The straining and flexing of muscles becomes an erotic experience in its own right. The heat and sweat, normally something I avoid, transforms into part of the sensory messages that define the enclosed space and thus reinforce the experience.
Every sense was thus turned back in on me, contributing to the feedback loop that had been running for hours in my groin. Horniness and the withholding of release, through the kinky lens, generates horniness, which demands release.
So you see where I’m going with this. I was back to feeling that desperate ecstasy. This time, it was slightly more attenuated than the time before. I wanted to cum sooo bad, as alway, but there was no chance I would get to the point where I would normally tip over into orgasm. It was like one of those nightmares where I’m trying to climb a mountain, but gravity is too strong, and I can’t seem to make any progress…
My cock was leaking out the end of its steel tube, and my butt was getting sticky, but of course there was nothing I could do about this. My hands strained against their straight sleeves to reach my cock, which they couldn’t have touched anyway. This is so hot! I thought, and I writhed like a worm. My normal impulse to try to make it last as long as possible looped me back to the awareness that I couldn’t make it not last. This awareness had created a sense of horror when I was paralyzed just a few hours before, but now it somehow left me free to struggle against it as hard as I wanted. The pleasure kept mounting.
The urgency was mounting as well, though not as fast as the last two times. The body makes the pleasure to lead you to a specific goal, and is very serious about reaching it. I had to cum! I couldn’t resist the pull. I knew I should force myself to step back from the edge again, by holding still and focusing on my breathing. I knew it would work, or at least help. The problem was, I didn’t want to. I wanted to shoot my load! So how do you summon the willpower to use your willpower? It was a mental trap to go with my physical one.
My desperation grew, even as I grew more exhausted. It was late, and I had had a demanding day. Suddenly I was sobbing again. I couldn’t keep going but couldn’t make it stop. I had reached my breaking point.
This was a sort of rite of passage for me, repeated twice in one day. Just as some BDSM people seek the experience of being broken by an expert flogger (ugh, no thank you), people in to edging want to experience being broken by unbearable pleasure. So here I was, broken. Mission accomplished!
But that didn’t stop it.
Suddenly Adin was there. He lifted up my upper body and sat behind me so he could embrace me and murmur in my ear through the hood. A wave of gratitude crashed over me. I had had no idea how different this experience would be with someone holding me versus being isolated in my own tiny dark world. His presence was a lifeline that I clung to as if it were my last chance at finding my sanity again. My sobbing quieted but did not end.
After a minute of just holding me, Adin unzipped the hood and pulled it off my head. Cool night air was a shock to my skin. We were sitting in the dark. Adin reached around and unzipped the sleepsack part way. More cool air. I felt a pang of ludicrous disappointment that I wasn’t going to make it through my first whole night of bondage.
He helped me slide out of the sleepsack, then moved it aside, grabbing the wrong part of the sack for his efforts. “Ugh, you’re disgusting!” he said. I couldn’t summon the wit to respond. Nevertheless, he wiped his hand on my chest. Then he tousled my hair. “You’re almost there. Only about an hour left.”
What? I was crashing, but I said, “How long was I… doing that?”
“About five hours.”
I took a shuddering breath. “That’s impossible!”
“Maybe you slept part of the time. Your breathing was pretty deep and even sometimes. When you weren’t panting and moaning.”
“Did you get any sleep at all?”
“Some. Don’t worry, I figured it would be like this. Now come up onto the bed, and we’ll try to sleep in.”
Now I was going to share my bed with him! And he was still buck naked! For once I regretted wearing my chastity belt. Or maybe it was better that way.
After a quick experiment, he discovered which way spooning worked with me in that belt. I ended up with him enfolded in my arms. “Hmm, it’s better with boobs,” he murmured.
My last thought as I drifted off was God, I’m so horny.
To be continued…