By mmmpppfffhhh
I have always been “chasing the dragon” of bondage. Chasing that elusive state of real submission to bondage, where the game-playing finally becomes real. Where I have to accept that I am truly a captive, a bondage sub, and admit my longing to be kept tied up by men. Longing for men to lead me and push me through endless, uncomfortable, totally secure confinement, until they shove me into that place of complete capitulation, where I can do nothing but give up and give in. And once they have me there, despite me giving in, they still keep me bound and locked, and even tighten it up. Grunting and struggling in my hood and gag and chains, I submit totally to them, and can then fly like the Star Rover in Jack London’s novel, and soar to Nirvana.
@Yohan555 and I have chased this dragon together over several years, with 3-day and 5-day day sessions of continuous bondage (see our previous MetalbondNYC report here). We discovered we had both lusted over the reports from The Warden and The Inmate in MetalbondNYC in 2013 as documented here. @Yohan555 contacted the warden and had the original padded cell shipped from the UK to his home in Germany. We decided we would try to repeat their scenario of longterm confinement in a tiny padded cell, with minimal contact between warden and inmate. The original cell unfortunately could only be reconstructed in an upper part of the house without A/C and so was too hot in the summer, so we reluctantly shifted to use a similarly small cell, also canvas-padded, in the basement, helpfully adjacent to a wet room for ablutions, and a black cell for eating. Eventually we decided I would be the inmate for a 5-day trial period, with @Yohan555 as the warden, and we began on Friday 15th Sept 2023.
I was full of trepidation; would I be able to cope? The isolation had made the original inmate break down, making the warden shorten their plan from 21 to 19 days. Although we had agreed to a far shorter trial, I still worried. Particularly about long-term hooding, as I had struggled with claustrophobia in some of @Yohan555’s StudioGum rubber hoods. But I worked on them with him on previous meets and came to a new respect for them. Also @Yohan555, knowing my fetish for other men’s soccer and military socks, agreed I could be bound in some to keep me horny. He also gave me a button to keep in my hand inside the straitjacket, so I could alert him if I ever had a major problem. I was proud that I only used it for cramp during an arduous session in the leather bondage suit on the 5th day. I never used it at night, despite one near panic attack while hot, hooded and straitjacketed on the 2nd night; no doubt just having it in my hand helped, because I slowly calmed myself down without pressing it.
For those who worry about meals and ablutions, here are the details:
Each morning while still in bondage in the small padded cell I was hooded in a sightless StudioGum hood (which stayed on throughout). I was guided in hood and bondage to a nearby wet room, where my usually wet nappy was removed, and my ankles were shackled to the floor. I was sat on the toilet for a shit, arse-wiped, then stripped, soaped and rinsed. And let me inform you, being soaped, showered, arse- and cock-washed by an anonymous man while you’re standing bound, hooded and shackled is an unusual experience for a grown man; alarmingly intimate, both unnerving and arousing.
I was roughly towelled off, then led still hooded and shackled to the black windowless eating cell, where I was chained to the floor and could sit, and where I found my toothbrush, a face flannel, and breakfast in a small crate. The gear I was to wear for the day was folded in a pile. I was locked in alone for about 30 mins or so, before the warden returned and, keeping either my foot, wrist or neck chained at all times, I was dressed for the day and secured in straitjacket +/- leg-sack/shackles, or fist-mitts and cuffs. I was then returned to the small padded cell, shackled to the floor and kept variously tied up/strapped up for the day until evening. Electrolyte drink and piss bottle would be administered as required. I would be returned to the black windowless eating cell at supper time, where I would be shackled, and could sit and eat from my supper crate. My night gear would be there folded in a pile, with a nappy and plastic pants on top. After eating I would be dressed in it all, again always with ankle, wrist or neck chained at all times. Then it was back to the small padded cell, to be shackled by chain to the floor and secured in bondage for the night. It always started out hot at night, but by the early morning I would usually be cold, despite the straitjacket or leg sack. If my mouth was free I could bite the corner of a blanket and roll over, dragging it over me a bit. During the night I tried to release my piss into the nappy little by little, so as not to flood it and overspill the top edge or let it run down my legs.
And about the bondage:
Sometimes after a restless night struggling in vain to get comfortable in bondage, tossing and turning, I’d be listening out for the sound of footsteps, of keys in the lock, waiting and dozing, trying to stay calm. But instead of coming to release me for the wet room, the warden sometimes came to gag me and truss me tighter, leaving me shocked and grunting (and often fiercely erect) for another hour or so. It is especially shocking, just when you are hoping and expecting to be released, to be instead swiftly trussed up tight, your mouth penetrated by a fat penis gag, your hopes dashed, your dignity trashed again.
Inside the straitjackets I usually wore long thick German army socks pulled over my hands and up to my armpits. Partly because it helped with padding. But mostly because it turned me on, sweating and flexing and extending my fingers in the soldier’s thick socks during my long hours of bondage. Thinking of soldiers keeping me longterm bound. Thinking of them smirking as they humiliate me by pulling their big socks onto my hands before they fasten me up. Unbeknownst to me, on the 4th day of my continuous bondage, when my cell door was unlocked, I was shocked to see 2 strange men with the Warden, one in combats and desert boots! It was as if the Warden had been eavesdropping on my soldier fantasies! Talk about dreams come true! Huge thanks to rotkaepple1@twitter and daineseboy_@twitter.
Straitjackets and sleep sacks provided the core of most of the bondage variants in our homage. They are (or can be) relatively comfortable while remaining totally secure. They need some skill and experience to apply effectively, especially when combining with leg sacks. Hoods have great power to subdue, are threatening, arousing, humiliating and dehumanising — and they look amazing. But they can also be breath-restricting/suffocating, and also increase risks of overheating. And they can rub/catch you painfully under the nose!
Pictures and videos of the inmate in bondage are on recon and fetlife (mmmpppfffhhh and strjacket555), and twitter/X (@Xlrugbysocks and @Yohan555). For me, all the bondage was amazing; secure and bearable (except when hogtied in the leather bondage suit on the 5th day; I got cramp and pushed the button). The nights seemed so very long, but the days flew past, an endless mix of love/hate confining restriction, and that combination of helplessness and arousal. And yes, the dragon of capitulation in bondage was reached, on the 5th day, in the leather bondage suit, fist mitts and hood. From the start, I had tried to keep some physical and mental strength in reserve, because I knew things were only likely to get worse as the days passed. But that day, hogtied in the bondage suit and mitts my reserve ran out, and I had to give up and give in. And it felt like coming home.
The Schedule:
1st day (Fri)
- Maxcita sj, striped prison trousers, seaboot socks, shackles.
- Overnight: buckle-less Maxcita sj, black lycra hood, seaboot socks, shackles, blanket.
2nd day (Sat)
- Black Maxcita sj, leather hood with pinhole eyes, underpants, soccer socks.
- Excercising in the cell, later in the black cell with black Maxcita leg sack, strapped to Army cot.
- Overnight: buckle-less Maxcita sj, canvas Maxcita bag hood, seaboot socks.
3rd day (Sun)
- Yellow prison trousers, leather sj, top2btm oblivion hood, heavily roped legs.
- Later: face-down strapped on Army cot in black cell, with sj arms behind + hog tie.
- Overnight: yellow prison suit, 5-point chain combination.
4th day (Mon)
- Padded m/c jeans, leather sj, pinhole leather hood, Army boots with soccer socks, shackles.
- Transferred to black cell, green net, headphones with hypnotism tapes from Rick TheTist.
- Overnight: Maxcita sj with leg sack
5th day (Tues)
- Leather bondage suit, fist mitts, Army boots and socks, tight leather hood.
- Later: suspension in the black cell.
- Overnight: Maxcita sleepsack, Maxcita canvas hood.
last morning (Weds)
- Leather trousers, leather sj, StudioGum hood, chained to wall of black cell.
- Later: leather sleepsack added
Spare a thought for the warden:
Firstly inmates, remember to give some kind of enthusiastic response to what your Warden is doing to you (if you like it, of course); shy nervous “rabbit in the headlights” subs can be dull and exhausting to play with.
Also, writing as a player with experience of both sides, I know how tough and tiring it can be to keep an inmate supervised and safe, secure but without cutting off his circulation, fed and clean, geared up and photographed — let alone sexually aroused! @Yohan555 was in all respects totally amazing, which is why I have the highest respect for him, and why he also has my eternal gratitude. But if you’re planning a long-term scene yourself, you might want to build in some respite care for the top/warden, even if it is only a few hours of supervision of the captive (or perhaps better still a night sitter — depending of course on what you want to do to your captive at night!).
Interestingly, in our 5-day trial here, by the 3rd day the warden came to realise a cold contact-minimal supervisor role was not very engaging for him, so we changed it then to include conversation while the inmate ate his evening food. (Incidentally we also wonder if the original Warden/inmate may not have been as strictly cold and distant during all their interactions as their reports suggest; they don’t discuss feeding arrangements).
In conclusion:
Firstly, I’d like to express my gratitude to the late Maurice (Jim) Stewart of Fetters; it was his advertisements in the gay press in the 80s which changed me forever. He popularised bondage and sexual fetishism, and his gear and his friendship gave life to my secret longings.
And then we must thank the original Warden and the Inmate, whose adventure and its reporting on MetalbondNYC made many of us realise that fantasies could in fact be realised, and that men were actually keeping each other severely bound up day after day, night after night, for real.
So here in 2023, this 5-day/123-hour trial captivity was done in homage to them. And it has left me totally in awe of their achievement; how they did 19 days with minimal interaction I will never know! The restricted horizons of one very small cell work insidiously on your brain, day after day; you lose track of time, you lose contact and interest in the world outside it; your controlled and restricted body confines your brain and your entire self too. Your warden, his keys, and what new bondage hell/heaven he brings, become your only focus. And that is fucking wonderful!
And finally, of course none of this would be possible without the passion, energy, perverted mind and amazing equipment of my dear friend, co-adventurer and Warden @yohan555. I owe him a massive debt of thanks; like Maurice all those years ago, he has aroused and invigorated my fetish, and given me the most thrilling, the most erotic experiences of my life; thank you man ; -)
Epilogue:
And predictably, now I want to do 19 days…
—mmmpppfffhhh October 2023
