All posts by Joshua Ryan

The Prison Writer – Chapter 05

By Joshua Ryan

I realized that I’d wanted something new to happen to me, but I had no idea how quickly it would happen.  As the man says in “Heart of Darkness,” “the changes take place inside, you know.”  Which means that they can happen at the speed of light.  When we got back to Jerry’s house I wasn’t walking in as a guest; I was walking in as a prisoner escorted by an officer of the law.  It was hard for me to talk.  Everyone else seemed freer and looser than they’d been before.  Dean seemed to be talking and smiling even more.  When people started to leave, I was amazed that they could get through the door without permission.  When I left, it was like I was sneaking away before the guards could catch me.

I spent the next few days huddling in the condo — which had never been mine and now felt like some illegal squat.  I got drunk and jerked as if that was my true profession.  Ten days later, I was riffling through my junk mail and found an envelope that was long and heavy and return-addressed to a PO box that looked decidedly official.  It had been mailed to somebody named Meres Steven Curtis.  Oh, shit.  That little drive with Dean hadn’t been a daydream after all.

I ripped open the envelope and yes, it was a message from the

DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS

Continue reading The Prison Writer – Chapter 05

The Prison Writer – Chapter 04

By Joshua Ryan

Jerry’s new boyfriend was giving him a birthday party — arranged by Jerry, of course.  There’s no point in describing it; it was just a big gay gathering with the ordinary number of lushes and phonies and nice guys, none of them interested in me.  Dean and Craig were part of the crowd standing around the quesadillas.  The usual drinks, the usual food, the usual conversation, the usual question from Jerry: “How’s the next book comin?”

“Slowly.”

“Gimme a date!  Publisher wants more of you.”

“I’m sure.  But I’ve paid for your BMW, and I’ve paid for your pool, so I’m doing this one at my own pace.”

“Come on!  It’s April!  I wanta fill the pool.”

“Whatever that means … As you know, my last book’s in the third printing…”

“Which means it’s about time to give em a new one.  Look…”

A 30-something in shorts that were far too tight for him wandered over, and I had the pleasure of meeting “Rory,” the latest BF.  That was that, but after a while Dean detached himself from Craig and the others who were grouped around him and strode in my direction.  He was the only person I knew who actually looked good in a Hawaiian shirt.

“Pushing the season?” I asked.

“Yeah, I know it’s early.  Follow me.  I told Craig you’d like a look at my car.”

Continue reading The Prison Writer – Chapter 04

The Prison Writer – Chapter 03

By Joshua Ryan

Pictures from the next morning:  Dean’s smooth, heavy body filling my bed.  My head jerking up as memories hit me from the night before.  My feet stumbling over the clothes I’d strewn on the carpet.  Wine glasses lying dead in front of the couch.  My hands fumbling with the coffee maker, anxious to fix the obligatory brew and get this stranger out of my home.  Dean striding into the kitchen — white tank top, black boxers, bare feet, and the shadow of a beard.  “Make mine scrambled.”

Apparently he’d leave when he wanted to leave.

“I think,” he said, taking his final bite of the eggs, “you should use your own name.  No pen names this time.”

“Do you mind telling me what you’re talking about?”

“I’m talking about the name you’ll use in prison.  Steven Meres.  That’s good enough.”

Continue reading The Prison Writer – Chapter 03

The Prison Writer – Chapter 02

By Joshua Ryan

I woke at 8:00 with the vague impression that I’d done something stupid the night before — probably something stupid in writing.  These days, almost everything I did was in writing.  I checked my email.  Oh God — there was a message from that cop I’d met the day before.  I’d wasted the whole day either talking to him or thinking about what he said.  That whole silly business about problems with my books … And here he was again.  Because I’d sent him a message!  “Time for lunch … dinner …”  Worse and worse.  Dinner was even more serious than lunch.  I hoped he was turning me down.  But no, he was saying he couldn’t do dinner until a week from Tuesday.  He would meet me at 6:30.  Where did I suggest?

Of course, I could have written back and told him I could see it was inconvenient for him — maybe some other time, I had a pretty heavy schedule … But … He was eye candy, at least.  Despite the boyfriend.  And it might be useful.  If you’ve got a fetish, I guess you ought to feed it.  And who knew if he was TOTALLY devoted to Craig?  Significantly, he was now pushing dinner, not lunch.  Not that I wanted to bed down with a cop!   I wrote back and suggested La Folie.  That would show him who was boss in the culture department.  “Please be my guest at dinner.  I’ll be grateful for your ideas.”

Continue reading The Prison Writer – Chapter 02

The Prison Writer – Chapter 01

The Prison Writer

By Joshua Ryan

This story is for adults and about adults only.

It is also fiction.  Any connection to real entities is purely coincidental.

Chapter 1

I’m Steven Meres, and I met Deputy Sheriff Dean Brannigan at a brunch given by my agent, Jerry Canto.

Jerry was a flighty, flamboyant queen, but why should I stereotype anyone?  After all, I’m a novelist; I should be above all that.  I’m just trying to explain why I was surprised when I got to the restaurant and found Jerry sitting next to a person whom he would undoubtedly have described as a superhunk.  I was prepared to be envious, but Jerry let me know right away that the man was, “unfortunately for me, only a friend.”

“Steven, client, meet Dean, gambling buddy.  I mean, buddy who gambles,” Jerry said.

The guy stood up to shake hands, and my first impression kept being right.  Six feet two, 100 percent muscle.  The long-sleeve tee did nothing to cover it up.  Neither did the jeans.

“Gambling buddy?” I asked him.

Continue reading The Prison Writer – Chapter 01

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 21

By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 21: How Not to Get Rejected

So where was I goin with this?  I got hard again and the story sorta got away from me.  OK, nothing unusual!  I was just saying that I didn’t dare to tell him how I felt, because—here’s the R word coming up—I didn’t want to be Rejected.  It would be really bad to get rejected when you’re, like, permanently locked in a stall with the dude that’s rejecting you!  I mean, locked in with him every day and every night!  Of course, that was good in another way, real good . . . .  But you see how I felt.

Toby did tell me enough about his life so I knew he’d been some big rich guy and he “got in trouble—sort of an accident,” and was sentenced to life in the SLP, and he hated it for a while, because they made him work in some cheap hotel downtown, and that wasn’t great, but then Mr. Sharma bought him, “and after that everything was squared away.”

Continue reading Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 21

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 20

By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 20: Stallion A, Meet Stallion B

The slap in front of me was what I’d call an old guy.  Forty years old, maybe–but he looked older and younger at the same time.  His face was sort of weathered and there were scars on it, like his tools had hit him a few times—not too bad though.  Actually good, if you know what I mean.  But what I mean about young . . . .  He wasn’t one of those slaps that always manages to get issued issued a suit of browns that are a little too small for its Giant Bulging Muscles.  His browns were sorta loose and baggy, but you could tell from the way they fell off his pecs and his arms and his thighs that he definitely had things under control in the physical department.  So that was interesting!  But what was really young about him was just the way he was standing in the stall, leaning one arm on the upper rack, like he was saying, OK, whatever, I’m here, so what?

So what can I say?  He was fuckin made for that stall, and that fuckin stall was made for him.  Question was, how well was I gonna fit in?

“OK,” he said, “I’ll show you how it goes in here.”

Continue reading Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 20

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 19

By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 19: We Have Lots of Room for Storage

You may be wondering what I thought of that conversation.  I was wondering what I thought, myself.  I knew I wasn’t, like “hurt” or “humiliated,” which is probably what I was supposed to be.   I did know I was happy to get to see the Owner, no matter what he said.  After all, he was the Owner.  I was wearing his clothes on my back and the name he gave me on my chest.  He paid 90 thousand dollars for me!  And he gave me exactly the kind of job I wanted.  I was gonna be a grunt.  I was gonna be doing mindless labor!  No problems!  No worries!  And it was gonna be for the rest of my life!  “What I buy, I keep.”

I guess there are two types of people.  One type, if they hear somebody talking about them, and it isn’t all perfect and wonderful, they’re unhappy.  They’re upset.  They try to figure how to forget it or get rid of it or get an apology for it.   The other type, they’re interested in what they heard.  They feel good that somebody’s actually talking about them.

Continue reading Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 19