By slaveobjectx
I tell this story yet I have no name. I am addressed only as slave. I said I would survive but now I will tell you how I did. I had battened myself down in isolation, indifferent to the sufferings of my fellow slaves, concentrating solely on dealing with my own fate, feeling that help from any one else would not be forthcoming. Not from the guards, of course, who at best carried out their duties indifferently – I, as slave was merely livestock and they had received enough training to regard all the chained slaves as livestock, with no need to deal with us as anything but subhuman, owned animals. At worst the guards regarded us as outlets for their own private passions – to punish, to mistreat , to abuse, to debase, to degrade, to humiliate, to fuck.
Yes, I had resolved to survive; to find an inner strength that would see me through all that they could throw at me. I would not be subhuman; I would not be an animal. Though I might not be permitted to exhibit it in terms of physical behaviour, I would not allow them to take over my mind. I’d conform outwardly but inwardly I’d be free. Yeah, great thoughts but how to make those thoughts real? Everything conspired against that – the inhumanity of my physical position where there was no escape in any way from the reality of the chains and shackles; the treatment from the guards which was expressly designed to degrade, humiliate, prompting, at best, a desire to comply with every order, no matter how vile so that the idea of choice was eliminated. We were being programmed to become robotic in all responses, robotic in all our behaviour.
