At the Church of Sinvention
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By Joshua Ryan
Chapter 18: Where Nice Guys Finish Up
When you’re standing in a slapholder, everybody on the street can see you, which I guess is supposed to be very shameful and humiliating. A lot of people looked at me and laughed, but I didn’t mind that much. In fact, I thought I was lookin pretty good in my new browns. Also, you can see stuff when you’re hangin in one of those things, which was great because I’d seen practically nothing of the city before, and lots of it was really beautiful, especially the part we were going to, which turned out to be an ultra-rich part of town. It was like one palace after another.
When we slowed down, I saw one that had “Alcazar” on the gate, but we were just slappies so we didn’t go in there. We had to go down and around to the back. Then they let me off the truck and hustled me into this big ugly brick building that you could tell was just for the servants, and right away I was standing in front of a boss slap with NAT on his shirt. “My Name is Nat, How May I Serve You?” But he was actually wearing long sleeves, and pants rather than shorts! All brown, of course, but I was beginning to get the impression that this was a place that was tryin to be, like, over the top when it came to luxury items.
At Brutal Tops, a bully won’t stick his big dick in that dirt box till it’s totally clean. The captive runt moans in agony as his guts get flushed out with freezing cold water. Then he gets an arse pounding!
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By Joshua Ryan
Chapter 14: Your Every Moment Will Be Filled with Meaning
When you’re a freshman slappie you wake up at dawn, and if you’re a new and potentially uncontrolled slappie, you lie in your rack until the boss comes by to unlock your shackle. Then you herd into the latrine to do your business. The smell of piss and shit from 100 slappies—that wasn’t one of the attractions of the King George Hotel. The hotel had slappies, but they did it someplace else. Mornings are chilly on St. Bevons, and the steam goes up from the shit holes. You march to the chow hall in your big boots and your little slappie suit, and you feel like the cold breeze is drowning you. Chow is something like oatmeal and something like coffee. No croissants. No marmalade. No fresh fruits offered for your selection. No one to suggest that the gentleman might wish to try the special breakfast of the day. Then you’re marched out on the slab for exercise. You strip down to your y-fronts, and you’re ready for your session of mens nulla in corpore sano.
By Joshua Ryan
Chapter 12: This Season, Brown Is Trending
They let me loose and I fell back, panting. Automatically, my hands went up to my neck. But it wasn’t my neck anymore; it was a thing wearing a collar. “Yeh mon,” Malcolm said, “you a slappie now.” I twisted, holding my stomach, trying to get my breath. My eyes were level with their waists, and I saw that their shorts were tented.
“OK slappie, straighten up,” Jojo said, kicking a chair in my direction. “Sit on it,” Malcolm said. My balls slumped down on the wooden seat. “Keep still,” Jojo said. “This doan take long.” He plugged a shaver into the wall, and in two minutes he had shaved me bald.
“Get up,” Malcolm ordered. “See that wall? Stan’ there. This is a camera, slap boy. Hol’ still, gonna take you picture. I said hol’ still. An look pretty—this is you audition, dude. I mean it—how you think I get this great job? You keep lookin unhappy, dude, this gonna last all night. OK, that’s better. Now turn left. Turn right. Lemme see you butt.” So now my white naked body and my white bald head were fully recorded. “Through that door,” he told me, pointing.
Side-show Bob here really thinks he’s clever. He’s made a foolish error to let the cops arrest him and get sent down ahead of the trial. A trial in which he will be found not guilty of course! All this is rather beneath him. He’s big and muscular and is going to be the cleverest on the wing. No doubt he’ll teach some of the stupider crims how to read and help with their letters from home. All the while he’ll have a big fat grin on his face, because he’s more intelligent than all the prison warders AND the governor.
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