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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 18

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 18:  The Best Place to Get Boeuf Bourguignon

Did you ever stand around naked?  Just stand around?  You shift from one foot to another.  You cover your nuts.  Then you uncover them, just for the hell of it.  Because you’re bored.  Bored and anxious.  You look around at the uniform stacks of uniforms.  You smell the ink as Dev rubs it over a stencil and into your clothes, turning anonymous pieces of cloth into YOUR shirt, the shirt of Tommy, slap number 21338.  First the front of the shirt, left pec; then the back of the shirt, between the shoulder blades.  Then the shorts, right thigh, left butt.  Then the underwear, right thigh, left butt.  Your boots too–21338, left side of your left boot, right side of your right boot.  And the cap.  There was room for your number on the back of your cap.  Dev was a perfectionist, so it took more than 20 minutes.

“Yeah,” he was saying, holding up a shirt to inspect his work, “like we say, they be seein you comin an goin!  Same with you shorts.  They watchin you dick, then they watchin you ass.  They wanta SEE whose ass it is.  You jus’ off thee slap farm, so you doan know.  So I’m tellin.  The freemen LOVE to look at us.  Not kiddin!  Even if you are like . . . older.”  Meaning me.  “These women jus love to flirt with you.  These men too!  Course you best not try any follow up.  Least so somebody find out.  Somebody in Crew 7.”

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Story

My Adventures With Billy – Part 14

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By Robmacz

‘Name?’ I was asked, and the inmate looked me up on the computer, then looked at me strangely. He turned to the other inmate behind the counter, who seemed to be more experienced and pointed to the screen.

‘I’ll deal with this one, you carry on with the next.’

He collected two lots of underclothes, towel, blanket, and toiletries from the place the other guys had had theirs issued from, but then he left the counter and went to the back of the room. I was wondering what was going on when he reappeared with two yellow jumpsuits, which instead of having DOC on the back like all the others had SSU printed on it. Then unlike the other guys who had been issued with black boots, he put a pair of orange canvas shoes on top.

‘Why I am I getting a different uniform?’ I asked.

‘Cuz you goin to the Special Segregation Unit. You’d better watch your back in there.’

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Story

My Adventures With Billy – Part 13

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By Robmacz

We all did as we were told, and guards appeared to unlock our chains. The noise of the chains as they clanged to the ground and echoed around the room was incredible, and it made my dick jump again. The chains were removed and plastic boxes were placed in front of us.  We were told to strip off and put all our gear into the boxes. I just started throwing my stuff in a box, and it wasn’t long before I was naked. Some of the other guys were slower and the guards yelled at them to get a move on.

Once we were all completely naked, we were each inspected. Mouth, hair, ears, feet, dick, arse. Everything probed. Then we were ordered to turn to our left and walk with our hands behind our backs. We followed a guard into a room with one single chair. Standing next to it was an inmate in a black and white striped jumpsuit. The guard pointed at the first guy in line. ‘You–sit in the chair.’ As soon as he sat down the inmate in stripes took some clippers and buzzed the guy’s head. It took only a couple of minutes to get all his hair off.  When he was done he was ushered out of the door and the next guy took the seat.

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 17

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 17: Preparing for Your New Career in the Hospitality Sector

Two tall young slappies jumped out of the van.  One opened the door for Mr. Williams; the other took charge of Kristian and me.

We were told to face the van, and we heard our shackles being unlocked and falling onto the concrete.  Then we heard, “OK, I be gettin you in now.”  “In” meant the luggage compartment—a windowless steel box with a tiny grille through which we glimpsed, for a moment, the luxurious compartment where Mr. Williams was now positioning himself amid pale green leather upholstery.  In the luggage compartment there were hooks on each side, up near the top, to secure any cargo that might get loose.  But now we were the cargo, and we were attached to the hooks by our cuffs.  A few moments were required for the slappie to push us into place, facing each other; then the hooks clicked shut, the door slammed, the slappie’s heavy boots pounded their way to the driver’s compartment, and the delivery van was in motion.

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Story

My Adventures With Billy – Part 12

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By Robmacz

Four days later I was lying on my bunk in my jail cell chatting to a first time inmate serving two days for a DUI. The irony was not lost on me. Just three months before, I was in this guy’s shoes.  I wondered whether this was the start of his slippery slope and he would soon end up in mine. So this time it was me showing him the ropes, and he seemed to think I was some big-time villain, especially when i told him the sentence I had just received. This was a role reversal I had not really anticipated, but it felt good nonetheless.

I knew that I could be transported to the state penitentiary at any moment, but it still came as a shock when the guards turned up first thing in the morning and announced that I’d be shipping out in ten minutes and I just had time to take a shit and a piss. I did as I was told, knowing it could be a long day ahead. They returned soon after I had finished, with a full set of chains.

‘Hands out in front,’ one of the guards commanded.

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Story

My Adventures With Billy – Part 11

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By Robmacz

Half an hour later I shuffled into the same interview room I’d been in the previous night, only this time there was were four other people waiting for me–Mike, the two detectives, and a man I presumed was the DA. The guard escorted me to my seat. This time I had a full belly chain on with my hands cuffed to my sides. I was pushed down into my chair by the guard.

‘Before we start,’ Mike said, ‘I want to stipulate that my client will be fully co-operative in this matter.  But although this is a serious offence, my client is in a position to offer other information, relating to more serious criminal activity. He is prepared to provide you with that information and testify if necessary. In return he would be grateful for certain undertakings.’

‘I don’t think your client is in any position to make any deals,’ the DA responded. ‘He is looking at several felonies and by my calculation is likely to be looking at 30 to life.’

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 16

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 16: Establishing Your True Worth

There were bets about how quick Yash would go, and the ones that bet on his thirty-first day in the Coop were right.  I took longer.  Lots longer.  By the time I went to the Room, I was the longest-running slap in the Coop.  But just when I thought I was lost in the system, the boss grabbed me out of the line leaving the chow hall and told me to “stand aside.”  “Aside” was a collection of three slappies–me, a 20-something named Kristian that had been vacationing from Sweden and had suddenly discovered that coke was not allowed on St. Bevons Island, and a young local named Marco, a “rude boy” that had got himself “sent down thee road” to Slappieville.   Marco was a kid, 18 or 19, whose eyes kept roving back and forth like he expected someone to kill him.  Kristian was tall and his stubble was blond, but he was skinny and somehow professorial.  Even after his weeks in Slaptown, he was still looking around him in a bewildered way, like he’d lost his glasses or his cellphone.

The Boss led us to the Intake shack, where Jojo and Malcolm gave us a shower and a new set of browns and boots.  “Lookin you best for thee Man” was Jojo’s comment.  “No haircut?” I said.  “No mon, that stubble you got is you best feature mon.”  When they were finished, they shackled our legs and cuffed our hands in front of us.  Then they locked our cuffs to a chain.  An officer came by, grunted something at the trusties, gripped the end of the chain, and gave it a tug.  We shuffled forward.  “You’re on your way to the Show Room,” he said.  Like we wouldn’t have guessed.  But that was that.  No long goodbyes.

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Story

My Adventures With Billy – Part 10

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By Robmacz

I headed home for the last time. Once there I took a last look round, kinda like when you move home from college and take a last look at where you lived as a student. Would I ever see this place again? Probably not. I got changed, putting on a t-shirt and some jeans that I had earlier poured whisky on so they would smell. I picked up a half bottle of whisky, the manila envelope containing the small packages of coke, and the larger bundle. Then I retrieved Billy’s pistol from where I had safely hidden it.

Down in the garage I smashed the rear light, so that it would cause attention and then I put the gun and drugs on the floor by the passenger seat and left the whisky close at hand. I headed off it was about 7.30 in the evening. I drove around for about 15 minutes before I saw a police car parked on the side of the road. Two cops were just getting in with their coffees. I put my foot down and started to drive erratically. It was not long before I saw flashing lights behind me. I knew where I was heading– Pierre’s, the restaurant where Billy took me several months before.  I knew there would be a pile of expensive cars lined up outside.

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