Tag Archives: In Memoriam

Bruce died last year while playing solo with a plastic bag


By Brian

Last year in January, Bruce, a dear friend (pictured above), died because he was playing solo, alone in his bed with a plastic bag on his head and a vial of poppers in his hand.

I only knew Bruce a couple of years, but we hit it of instantly, because he knew EXACTLY what I was thinking when we played, and I could somehow read him too. He’d have me tied down and he would somehow know just when to squeeze that nipple, tighten that restraint, or add something new to the scene to keep the excitement and adrenaline in full swing.

One night after everyone had gone to sleep, I was lying next to him in his bedroom, and he pulled out the bag and poppers and I watched as he suffocated himself to orgasm.

I remember saying, “You did that because I was here, right? You never do that when you are alone?” He told me, reassured me, that no he didn’t do it when he was alone. But there was a pile of plastic bags in the corner there always was, I sort of knew that maybe he did play like that when he was alone.

When I found out that he had died, and how he died, it made me sick. His closest friends, the people he lived with, were constantly warning him — don’t do that shit alone. Oh fuck, I wish he would have just listened.

I think what happens is it starts out pretty benign, you do a little, here and there, and before you know it, it becomes routine. And then one day, the routine ends.

If you must do breath play, don’t do it alone. Not once, not ever, and if you’ve done it alone before, never do it again. No one orgasm is worth giving up a lifetime of orgasms.

I loved Bruce, and I still miss Bruce to this day, damn it. And I’m still angry as hell at him for what he did.

For godsake, don’t do breath play alone.


Metalbond would like to thank Brian for posting the above to the comments section a few days ago. It is re-posted here as a main listing, with the blessing of Bruce’s surviving partner, Duane, who sent the following note:

“Time after time I told him not to do this alone! But like Bruce he came to me doing this, and left me this way. I had told him over and over my biggest fear was to find him dead — at least it was in his bedroom and not in the playroom! Try to explain that to all the people that were here that day! This just needs to STOP! Thank you!”

Thanks, Duane, for sharing. Hopefully this information will help save a life or two.

From today’s New York Times

Designer, 26, Found Dead in Apartment in Manhattan


Alejandro Bulaevsky was an accomplished lighting designer whose paths around the nation and world were well chronicled. On Tuesday, the New York police spent the day trying to learn how Mr. Bulaevsky, 26, ended up dead on the floor of his Lower Manhattan apartment — his body wrapped in a latex suit, his hands cuffed behind his back, his face covered by a gas mask.

“It’s a mystery, but they’ll figure it out in the end,” one investigator said.

Paul Browne, the Police Department’s chief spokesman said, “One aspect of the investigation would be to determine whether his death was related in any way to a fetish involving latex.”

To read the complete article, click here.

James Hatton passes away

James Hatton — who was known to many as Bodisama — died last week.

I never had the privilege of meeting or playing with him, but those who did spoke highly of him.


Metalbond offers his sincere condolences to James’ partner of more than 14 years, Matt, a person we should all keep in our thoughts.

More information is available by clicking here.

Jack McGeorge

I learned over the weekend with great sadness about the death of Jack McGeorge.

Jack McGeorge

Jack was into some very serious locking metal bondage — among many other interests and life passions. And he was completely out and open about his interests, not only in his personal life but in his work and professional life as well.

I will always remember the GMSMA meeting in New York several years back when Jack locked me in a cravat in front of about 100 other guys. He asked for a volunteer, and I must have been the first guy to raise his hand. And he told a great story about flying home from overseas with spiked leg irons in his luggage, and telling the security agents all about them and what they were for.

You can read more about Jack on Lolita’s blog. Click here.