Tag Archives: rants

Daily Thread

The difference between consensual play and abuse

3 Comments

By Metalbond

Guys, I have said this before, but it bears repeating now, because this is important.

A lot of what is depicted on this site involves what appears to be forced action, torture, beatings and the like … but please know that everything shown here is consensual. That is, nobody depicted on this website is getting restrained and beaten up against his will.

It’s never acceptable to put another human being in physical restraints against his or her will, or to do anything to another person that he or she does not want to have happen.

All of the porn pictures you see here about a supposedly “straight” guy getting tricked into bondage and then mercilessly fucked, forced to suck cock and pissed on, well … as you probably know all of that is fantasy. They guy is a paid porn actor, and he wants it. That’s why every Bound Gods and Bound In Public video begins and ends with an interview with the subjects, in which they discuss this. Sure, it may look like things are getting a bit rough at times, but everyone needs to know that nobody is getting beaten up against his will.

Of course many of us fantasize about being tied up and “worked over” hard by a sadistic prison guard or military drill instructor, or doing that to another guy, and there is nothing wrong with having such interests and desires … but there is a difference between such a fantasy, and what can cross the line into actual abuse.

Personally, I have been in situations where that line has been crossed, and it is not pleasant, not hot, and it is definitely not acceptable.

Many of my more vanilla gay friends, guys who know what I am into but really don’t “get it,” if you know what I mean, sometimes crack jokes that rub me the wrong way. We’ll be at a bar or party and there will be some annoying guy, acting like a creep, and they will say something like, “why don’t you go get your gag and shut that guy up” or “he belongs locked up in your cage.”

But what I always try to explain, to make really clear to them, is that I don’t have any desire whatsoever to put my handcuffs on any guy who does not WANT that to happen. I guess I am just not wired that way.

The bottom line is that it’s OK to have a fantasy about something that is truly forced, to beat off about it while looking at porn, or even to “act out” such things in “role play” … as long as whatever you do in real life is consensual.

 

 

 

Daily Thread

Not a good idea

1 Comment

Here’s an example of an accident waiting to happen:

gay bondage

 

When the candles burn down just a little farther, those METAL HOLDERS are going to get so HOT that they will cause BURNS on the bound dude’s skin.

If you are going to do something like this, use candles without those metal holders, and also cut the metal wick holder out of the bottom of the candle so THAT does not heat up and cause a nasty burn.

Also avoid expensive beeswax candles, which burn at a much higher temperature. And try not to burn the house down while you are at it.

Now you know (in case you didn’t already).

 

Daily Thread

Be careful when hooking up online

2 Comments

Hey fellas, time to get serious for a moment.

There have been a number of serious incidents here in NYC in recent weeks involving gay men getting murdered after hooking up with other men they met online. These incidents have received widespread media attention in the local papers and TV news broadcasts.

Guys, PLEASE be careful when meeting up with new guys for sex play … ESPECIALLY if it involves bondage! Here are some tips that you might find useful:

  • If you are going to seek a play partner out online, I would strongly suggest you stick to a tried-and-true profile site like Recon, and avoid Craig’s List. (With Craig’s List, especially if you are going for bondage play, you are just taking too big a risk, in my opinion.)
  • When you are on a site like Recon, the guy’s profile will give you a much better sense of him. Does he have multiple pictures of himself available? Do they match? How long has he has had a profile on the site? Does he have friends listed whom you know? Check with some of those guys. Use your common sense.
  • Definitely make sure someone knows where you are going. That means giving a trusted buddy the guy’s contact information. (Whenever I invite somebody over here to tie up for the first time, I always send the guy my full name, address and phone number with a note, “feel free to give this information to a trusted friend, so that somebody knows where you are.”)
  • If you don’t have a buddy to act as your “safety,” then get one. Don’t worry, you don’t have to go into detail with your safety buddy about what you are doing or getting into, if you are uncomfortable or embarrassed sharing that information. Your buddy is not going to judge you, and you can return the favor for him next time.
  • You might want to consider meeting the guy in a public place, like at a bar or coffee shop, before going back to his place for the action.
  • Even better, go to a public play space like the New York Bondage Club to play for the first time.
  • If you are tied up at a play party with lots of other guys around and things get out of hand, you can always yell the universal safe word, which is “safe word!”
  • Another thing to consider, if you are going to get tied up by another guy for the first time, is that it is probably better to go to HIS place and not have him over to your place. Is there a doorman or security camera where he lives? That’s a plus for you.

Again, make sure that someone knows where you are going!!!

For more information on how to hook up safely, a really great resource is the New York City Anti Violence Project (AVP) … they have a 24-hour hotline — 212-714-1141 — as well as safety tips and a video available by clicking here.

Daily Thread

Chastity devices and airport security

6 Comments

the Curve chastity deviceHey guys, thanks to everyone who has written in with comments and suggestions on wearing a cock cage through airport security. I know everyone needs to make his own decision about how far to push things, but I wanted to let you guys know that I have thought about this for a while, and I have decided against wearing or sending any guys through airport security while wearing a cock cage. Yeah, I’m sorry to spoil all the fun here, but in my view, if you have to fly, the cock cage should come off. The reasons I have for this are twofold.

Tied Feet GuyThe first reason has to do with the question of airport security in and of itself. Let’s think about this for a moment. We have already had the shoe bomber. Then there was the underwear bomber. Who knows what else might be planned. I just don’t think it is a good idea to wear a device locked on your dick through airport security screening. It raises too many red flags, especially for security personnel who are not familiar with what these devices are or who do not “get it” when it comes to kink. The fact is, those TSA agents have enough to worry about, without having to fuss over some guy’s cock cage. Yeah, yeah, I know, you can say these folks have “seen it all” and “nothing is going to shock them” but still, I just don’t think it is a good idea (more on that in a sec). I think airport security is one place where you just don’t want to mess around. You could miss or delay a flight, or you could divert resources from the REAL threat, or whatever.

CB 6000 chastity deviceThe second reason I am against wearing a cock cage through airport security, is that I do not believe in subjecting other people to sexual matters that they might not be comfortable with, or might not want to view. In other words, forcing some person to examine your cock cage, because it is part of his or her job, is almost in a way like pushing a non-consensual “scene” on someone. Yeah, it might be exciting for you to face the “humiliation” of being caged but what if the screener does not want to participate in that? After all, it’s one thing to walk around at Dore Alley or the hotel lobby at IML in a leather straitjacket and dog collar, and if a “vanilla” person walks into that space they should know quite well what they are getting into. But I would not wear stuff like that at a shopping mall, or at the movie theater. So, I just don’t think it’s cool to subject “vanilla folk” to stuff that they might not want to see, or that might make them uncomfortable. And that includes wearing a cock cage at the airport.

So, in my view, it’s probably best that if you do have to fly, just take the cock cage off … at least while you go through the security screening.

 

Lots  of chastity devices are available from Mr S

Daily Thread

Clips vs locks

10 Comments

OK fuckers, listen up. This is important. Really important. In fact, I think this might be the most important blog posting I have ever put up here on Metalbond. I mean it. It has to do with the use of clips versus locks. Here’s the problem I am having: There are far too many men out there doing ineffective bondage with stupid, worthless CLIPS that can be un-clipped by the prisoner whenever he wants, rather than using LOCKS that cannot be undone without a key.

Bondage with clips makes no sense whatsoever. It’s like driving to the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon and locking your car doors, but leaving all your windows rolled down. What’s the point?

Take the picture below, for example:

(picture)

Yeah, the guy is smoking hot and he looks great with his hands behind his back. But look a bit more closely at the way he is restrained. All he has to do is use his hands to unclip the clips, and he is free. What fun is that? This is not real physical restraint. It is play-acting!

Here are more examples of hot men who are “restrained” with inadequate, non-secure clips:

The men in the pictures above were restrained by lazy tops who don’t know what the fuck they are doing, or who don’t care. Is this any way to treat a prisoner? No. Fuck no. If they had been bound with PADLOCKS rather than clips, these would be some very hot predicaments, indeed!

Are you catching my drift here?

Another thing to keep in mind, is that if you do use locks, you also have to know HOW to use them. Some guys use their padlocks ineffectively, because either the restraints themselves are not locked on, or the restraints are locked on but then they are secured with clips. Remember that if you are using leather restraints, those have to LOCK ON, as well! Take these pictures, for example:

Clips vs locksClips vs locksEven though padlocks ARE used in the scenarios shown above, all the guys in these pictures have to do is either unbuckle the leather restraints or unhook the clips and they are free! That is because there are not locks on both the restraints AND whatever is securing them. Again, this is an ineffective, unacceptable way to restrain a prisoner!

Then there is THIS heinous misuse of a padlock:

(picture)

What the fuck does this padlock do? Absolutely nothing! It is not keeping the collar on, nor is it locked TO anything. Like tits on a bull, this padlock is just sitting there, being useless. What a waste of a good padlock!

From now on, everyone needs to start using real, locking PADLOCKS to secure the restraints and then lock them TO something. No more clips, only padlocks.

If you don’t HAVE padlocks, that is no excuse. Go to Home Depot, for chrissakes, where you can buy dozens of different kinds of locks, in all different sizes, shapes, colors and configurations. You can get multiple locks that all open with the same key. You can even get combination locks that all open with the same combination, or you can get combination locks that you can set your own combination into, and use over and over again.

 

Then once you are properly equipped you can do REAL BONDAGE, like THIS:

Clips vs locksClips vs locks

Notice how the restraints keeping these men captive are properly locked on, so the restraints can in turn be properly locked TO something. These men will not be able to get out of their predicaments on their own. They are true prisoners, locked and secure — the way it should be!

Clips vs locksClips vs locksI hope I have made myself clear. Any questions?

Daily Thread

Tying the knot

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Do you like to tie knots? I sure do! But you know that.

I am not only interested in the literal kind of knots involving rope, but also the figurative kind. That’s right, I’m talking marriage. Tying the knot. Entering into wedlock. The old ball and chain. Conjugal bonds. You get the idea.

This week I attended the wedding of my good friends Alan and Dave. They happen to live in one of the few states where same-sex couples are able to marry.

Unfortunately, most gays and lesbians in this country are not allowed to marry under the laws of the states in which they happen to reside. Even worse, federal legislation enacted by the U.S Congress and signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996 bars any federal recognition of same-sex marriage and prevents any of the legal rights afforded to opposite-sex married couples from being granted to same-sex partners.

That means same-sex couples in long-term, committed relationships have to have to jump through all sorts of legal hoops for things like signing up for each other’s health insurance.  If you are a same-sex couple who wants to file a joint federal tax return – even in a state where same-sex marriage is not illegal — you’re out of luck. And don’t even think of leaving your Social Security benefits — which you have worked your whole life to accrue — to one another when one of you dies. What we have is anti-gay discrimination. And it is wrong.

EVERYONE should have the right to TIE THE KNOT.

gay bondage

Congratulations, Alan and Dave, on your marriage! I am so happy for you both, and I am completely 100% supportive of you and of your civil rights.