By Joshua Ryan
Chapter 3: Ideas Have Consequences
When I was a freshman in college I went through the kind of depression that kids sometimes have when they’re away from home for the first time. Finally I got myself out of bed and went to a counselor. He told me that depression is anger and the way to escape from being angry is to express your anger. Your anger is your truth, and you should release it. I listened, and since then I’d never been depressed. I’d lost some friends, but whatever. They weren’t real friends; they were just people who wanted to control me.
The same with Gordy. Call it disappointment, call it partnership envy, call it a frustrated dick—something was showing me that this guy was a control freak. It wasn’t the job of Colonel One and a Quarter Drinks to make me pay for tales of his partner, or monitor my alcohol consumption. I’d been drunk a thousand times before, and I’d managed to keep my car on the road.
But . . . on the other hand . . . . A thought occurred to me. Maybe I’d been too hard on him. Way too hard. Maybe this Patrick person wasn’t his one and only. That was a thought! Next time, I’d be nicer to the guy. Much nicer. And maybe he’d wear his uniform. It must be more interesting than he was letting on. I loved a man in uniform! But I wasn’t fooled by Gordy’s superman act. I knew how much civil servants made; I’d had enough trouble getting those dudes through escrow. And here was a guy who had to live in a fuckin prison! I’d have no trouble outbidding “Patrick.”
