The difference between consensual play and abuse

By Metalbond

Guys, I have said this before, but it bears repeating now, because this is important.

A lot of what is depicted on this site involves what appears to be forced action, torture, beatings and the like … but please know that everything shown here is consensual. That is, nobody depicted on this website is getting restrained and beaten up against his will.

It’s never acceptable to put another human being in physical restraints against his or her will, or to do anything to another person that he or she does not want to have happen.

All of the porn pictures you see here about a supposedly “straight” guy getting tricked into bondage and then mercilessly fucked, forced to suck cock and pissed on, well … as you probably know all of that is fantasy. They guy is a paid porn actor, and he wants it. That’s why every Bound Gods and Bound In Public video begins and ends with an interview with the subjects, in which they discuss this. Sure, it may look like things are getting a bit rough at times, but everyone needs to know that nobody is getting beaten up against his will.

Of course many of us fantasize about being tied up and “worked over” hard by a sadistic prison guard or military drill instructor, or doing that to another guy, and there is nothing wrong with having such interests and desires … but there is a difference between such a fantasy, and what can cross the line into actual abuse.

Personally, I have been in situations where that line has been crossed, and it is not pleasant, not hot, and it is definitely not acceptable.

Many of my more vanilla gay friends, guys who know what I am into but really don’t “get it,” if you know what I mean, sometimes crack jokes that rub me the wrong way. We’ll be at a bar or party and there will be some annoying guy, acting like a creep, and they will say something like, “why don’t you go get your gag and shut that guy up” or “he belongs locked up in your cage.”

But what I always try to explain, to make really clear to them, is that I don’t have any desire whatsoever to put my handcuffs on any guy who does not WANT that to happen. I guess I am just not wired that way.

The bottom line is that it’s OK to have a fantasy about something that is truly forced, to beat off about it while looking at porn, or even to “act out” such things in “role play” … as long as whatever you do in real life is consensual.

 

 

 

The Corporal Performs – Part 2

By PFC Pflege

I discovered Rocky one night when Dave and I tied up the boys in the next squadbay who shared our head. We tied them up and put them one by one in the shower. Rocky was an extra guy, who had been waiting next door, trying to buy drugs, and we tied him up, too. He said later that he was from El Paso, but he was crazy and said a lot of things.

Continue reading The Corporal Performs – Part 2

David Stein has two speaking gigs coming up in California

I had lunch today with NYC-based gay leather activist, writer, publisher and educator David Stein, who is heading to the Bay Area later this month, where he has two speaking engagements booked. See below for details.

David Stein

 

HURTS SO FINE: EROTIC ABRASION

San Francisco Leathermen’s Discussion Group Program

The skin is by far the largest organ in the human body, but most SM techniques evoke only a small fraction of its potential for painful pleasure. Abrasion can be exquisitely calibrated from sensuous to excruciating, and a long, patient brushing can leave your bottom’s skin so sensitive that simply breathing on it will make him shriek!

When and Where

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013, 7:30 – 9:30 pm

Mister S Studio, 385A 8th Street, San Francisco

Click HERE for details.

-and-

COMMON SENSE PRINCIPLES FOR ETHICAL BDSM (R)

Presentation at Northwest Leather Celebration (May 17-19 in San Jose)

If you want to do “the right thing” in a BDSM play space or a kinky relationship, but aren’t always sure what that is, come to this workshop. It’s not about “imposing rules” or “setting standards” but about ideas you can use to make your play and relationships more fulfilling.

When and Where

Northwest Leather Celebration

Saturday, May 18, 4 – 5:30 pm

San Jose

Click HERE for details.

You can read more about David Stein by clicking here and here. You can also find him on FetLife.