I received this letter in my in-box today:

Date: Friday

Metal,

I have been thinking of you since we last ran into each other at the flea market some time ago.  I thought I would check in.  I do not think I told you, but I need to fix an outstanding legal issue of some unpaid court costs and fines.  I have let it go for far too long, and I am not that motivated to fix it, but I need to fix it before I get stopped for speeding or something and subsequently find myself, rather unplanned, in the back of the cop car.

I have to admit that I have mixed emotions getting this fixed.  Every time I see a cop or a corrections officer wearing handcuffs on his belt, I get that pit-in-my-stomach feeling that feels like you are feeling hunted. But also, oddly, sometimes the sight of handcuffs makes me hard.  I think that why we connect so well!  I know that I have been not the most law-abiding person out there.  I have cut corners. I have taken advantage of situations that are unintended but are favorable to me.  Given, the right circumstances, I can be shifty. I have worked on being a better person, and I think that if I worked at it harder, seeing a cop with cuffs on his belt would not bother me as much as it sure does now.  However, I know my innate character well.  I guess deep down inside we all know who we really and actually are.

I have worked hard to improve my potential and have found more than good success in my career and elsewhere.   Getting lodged into jail would feel like a set-back, a humiliation.  As they say, “Orange may not be your color”….   It is something that I want to avoid, but I think I can finesse this one.  As you know I am going to be on the road and I going to drive through this town and get things taken care of.  I have to admit a certain, if not substantial degree of apprehension about reporting to the Jail office there to make payment.  However, since I will be cruising through the town on a Sunday, the only place that I could make the payment was at the Jail office.

I will have the dosh with me to pay them off, but I anticipate that they will rough me up a bit as these folks tend to so.  I anticipate that they will not make it pleasant but I do not think I will find my way behind bars.  I do not think one has to imagine much, but I think being in Jail must be one of the most boring things that one can do or be required to do.  I am hopeful that I can talk my way out of it, or perhaps give a bribe or something if need be – which as I think about it sounds really stupid – scratch that.

I checked with the Jailer this morning, Friday, and he knows that I will be stopping by on Sunday to pay off the fines and fees.   He was a bit nonchalant about it all.  No chit chat here, nine simple words was all; “we’ll take care of it when you get here” and that was that.  I wish I could say that I was encouraged, but I just hope it is easy, fast and resolved quickly.

I will keep you posted.