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Story

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 03

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 3: Sentimental Education

So I’d got up in the morning so bored I could hardy drag myself to the shower, and by fuckin five in the afternoon I was lying on the bed, thinking how easy it turned out to be to get a cock into your hole, and how easy and AWESOME it was to get your cock into some other dude’s hole, which is something I NEVER could picture that I would EVER do!  Ever!!!  Well, I could picture it, but . . . .

Dinner that night was . . . different.  I used to be kind of ashamed of my parents, who were, like, about 20 years older than they really were, and that’s why they went to resorts like that, so they could be around the other old people.  I don’t think I knew exactly how I felt before, but now I did, and when I looked at them, it wasn’t like they were even my parents, you know?  I’d just got misplaced somehow, and ended up with them.  But mainly I was looking at all the dudes in brown uniforms running back and forth, taking out the plates and filling the water glasses.  Fuck they were hot!  I wondered who they were screwing, out behind the kitchen or wherever.

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Story

Old Warrant

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By Hung in Handcuffs

I thought I would just be able to slide through that minor traffic ticket with a quick guilty plea wearing dark jeans and a bright white polo before catching the NE Regional to meet up at my buddy’s house to hang out. I was a young guy — and it was just usual traffic court so I would apologize, pay up, show the judge respect and call it a day.

Turns out there was a change of plans, there was a severely overdue fine from a parking ticket I had gotten back in college during finals that had somehow slipped my radar. Awkwardly the judge informed me that I was automatically remanded into custody since it was an outstanding warrant, in front of a packed courtroom of people who forgot to update their tags or had minor speeding tickets.

Shocked, I allowed myself to be quickly handcuffed behind my back before almost forgetting my bag. Still stunned, I quickly nodded back at my backpack sitting under the chair I had been waiting in for my ticket number to get called.

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 02

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 2: Quaint Local Customs

You don’t need to be on St. Bevons very long before you know they have all different races there.  So Patrick was some kind of Asian and the other one–Dobie, like it said on his shirt–was white.  Not surprising.  And they have their own accent or dialect or whatever.  I mean you hear it but not from the ones that have any money, lol!  Patrick had it, but underneath you could tell that he had to be an American.  Same for the other one.  You knew it by how they said things.  Like when Dobie said, “Yeh, we be outta you way soon sir.”  These guys on the island, like cooks and so on, always said “waaaay,” like it might go on forever, and when they got to something like “sir,” it was “sirrrr.”

But these two guys didn’t sound like that.  They sounded like I sounded when Dan took me to his room and gave me a beer (thanks, Dan–finally!) and I did my imitation of islan’ talk till he told me I was drunk and I should knock it off.  So you can learn to talk that way, but you might not be perfect.  Anyhow, Dobie and Patrick pulled off the bedclothes and brought in some new sheets and fluffed up the pillows and went in the bathroom and scrubbed and flushed and mopped and sprayed, and all the time they were chattering away in islan’ but the way they cranked their shoulders and slung their butts was totally USA.

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 2: Chapter 01

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Island Paradise

In Two Parts

By Joshua Ryan

PART 2

 

Chapter 1: A Great Place for the Whole Family

Hey, what’s goin on?  I’m not an interruption–I’m Joel, and it’s my turn to talk.

You don’t know me yet, so I’m wondering how to introduce myself.  I guess it doesn’t matter.  Just think of me as the Boy Next Door.

You know the type.  I’m sorta tall, and sorta blond, and I was sorta popular in school.  Picture me raking leaves in the front yard, wearing a red flannel shirt, with a light blue tee underneath it.  I was never behind any white picket fence, but my family lived in a pretty good neighborhood and I went to a pretty good school, which means there was zero crime and only a couple fistfights out behind the gym.  Lack of tradition, lol!

Anyway, I went out for sports and was good in English and real good in math.  Dan—he’s my older brother—went to law school, so my parents thought I should go to med school.  The summer after my junior year in high school, my dad’s friend Dr. Lowery got me a volunteer gig at the hospital, which meant following the doctors and nurses around while they did their things.  When they were with a patient I had to say—“Hi, I’m Joel, I’m a volunteer, just learning stuff”—and the patients were always nice about that.  The nurses and doctors weren’t always nice to each other, but they were nice to me.  I wondered how I would feel if people actually weren’t that nice.  Maybe it would be more interesting!  Don’t ask me whether I wanted to be a doctor.  I don’t think I did, but I guess it was as good as anything.

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 25

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 25: The Experiment Can Be Considered a Success

In a second the twins were dragging me out.  “Roger!” I shouted, but his expression of calm benignity never changed.  The door slammed.  I was back in the passageway, being propelled toward a room at the distant end.  If that was “the room,” then I was the “it.”

Champ and Chimp dragged me in, and Roger followed.

“Put the slap on the wall,” he said.  “And fluff.”

“Sir thank you sir.”  They moored my cuffs to a ring on the wall.  Then they stripped out of their browns and began to kiss and grope each other, groping and sweating and grinding and making each other hard, so hard that if their boots hadn’t anchored them to the floor they could have climbed to the sky on each other’s dicks.  Were they fighting or making love?  It didn’t matter.  They were two volcanoes, ready to erupt.  Then spotlights came on.  The windowless room was boiling with light.  And there were other lights—little red lights in the corners of the room.  Roger was filming this!  The lights seemed to set the boys off even more.  Molten mountains, beasts in a colosseum . . . .

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 24

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 24: Room at the Top

Each of them took an arm and moved me out of the building.  At the end of the little street there was a stone wall with a barred gate, big enough for a truck.  Next to it was a little barred gate, big enough for slappies on foot.  They had the key to that gate, of course.

The gate led to another world.  Ahead was a gracefully curving drive lined with dark old trees, and a pathway bordered by tropical flowers and bushes.  Beyond, a great sweep of lawn and a cream-colored mansion spreading lazily across a hill.  When I turned my head, I could barely see the wall behind me.  It was almost invisible behind the lush flowering plants.  “Eyes front!” I was told.

I saw wide glass doors from the house onto a terrace–but I wasn’t going toward the terrace.  I was turning off onto a narrow trail that led through the bushes to a set of bare concrete steps going down to a basement.  There was a blank steel door at the bottom, and my guards had a key to that too.

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 23

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 23: Your Next Career Move

I don’t know how many times I got punished during the next few months—so many times that I felt incomplete, at the end of the day, if I hadn’t been slapped around or casually put across the knee of a waiter to get my butt spanked.  They loved to do that.  And it was true—I was a bad busboy.  I was surly.  I stumbled.  I broke things.  Like any other servant, I deserved to be punished.

Then one morning I was lined up with the other slaps to spend 12 more hours pulling dirty plates into the kitchen, when Dev caught me by the arm and said, “Not you. You been sold.”

“Sold?”

“Yeah, I know, mon.  Who’d wanta buy you?  But the truck is comin.”

So that’s it, I thought.  The fields.  The fields where I’ll spend the rest of my life chopping dirt.

“Report to Boss Derek’s desk,” he said, with no attempt at the usual camp.  “Good luck, mon.”  You’ve really fucked up, I thought, when Dev wishes you good luck.

I shuffled to the desk, and there was Boss Derek, looking angry that he had to spend time dealing with me.  “Bend down,” he said, and he took the King George dog tag off my collar and did something with his laptop to unlimit my distances.  It was like being drummed out of the Foreign Legion.  Then he said something weird.  “You don’t know how lucky you are, slappie.”

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Story

Island Paradise – Part 1: Chapter 22

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By Joshua Ryan

Chapter 22: There Are Many Interesting Jobs in Food Services

Terry was the busboy who trained me to be like him.  The biggest things I had to learn were:

  1. ALWAYS keep your boots clean and your shirt buttoned all the way up. That’s how people can tell you’re a servant at the King George Hotel.
  2. Keep your eyes on the floor and your dunce cap firmly on your head.
  3. Be invisible. You are nothing, get used to it.
  4. Wait till the guest is finished with a dish, then snatch it fast.
  5. Say Sir at the start and finish of anything you need to say to a freeman.
  6. Waiters are freemen. Always obey the waiter.
  7. Speak only when spoken to. If you start talking, you will be punished.
  8. If you take a tip, you will be punished.
  9. If you violate any rule, you will be punished.
  10. If anybody thinks you violated a rule, you will be punished.
  11. Any food remaining on a plate and any liquor remaining in a glass will be reported to Ned, the boss slap in the kitchen, for recycling to the basement.

And number 12:  Be grateful that you’ve got this job.  A lot of slappies don’t have it so good.

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