Tag Archives: GMSMA

A newbie wants help breaking into the local gay bondage scene

A Metalbond reader recently sent me this via email:

Dear Metal,

I’m 33 years old, gay male. I’m looking to sort of “ease into” local gay BDSM. I’m a bit sexually shy, but I have, as long as I can remember, found myself attracted to BDSM. I’ve finally worked up the nerve to try and get into it beyond looking at websites. I’m looking for advice on how or where I should go in New York City to meet some people. If you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.


My response:

A great place to start is the New York Bondage Club. They meet on Sunday nights at Paddles on 26th Street. You can join in the action if you like, or just watch, and it is great place (in my opinion) for beginners.

The education-focused GMSMA (Gay Male S/M Activists) closed down several years back, but some of the alumni from this organization have formed BDSMU, which bills itself as “a new organization focused on building education and camaraderie in the NYC kink community.” They offer monthly events at the Eagle NYC. You can connect with BDSMU via their Facebook page.

Workshops and classes on various topics are also offered at The Leather Man (primarily gay men) and Purple Passion / DV8 (a more “heteroflexible” crowd) on various topics. Check their websites for class offerings, times and dates.

Also, if you haven’t already done so, should put up a profile on Recon. There are lots of local guys out there, and if you get the app you might find (since this in New York Fuckin’ City) that some very hot bondage stud is closer than you can imagine! And he can’t wait to get his hands on a horny newcomer like you!

When you do meet up with someone, be sure to be careful! That means meeting in a public place before going home with the guy, telling someone where you are going, etc. You might find this article from the Anti-Violence Project especially helpful.

Have fun — and send me an email sometime telling me about your adventures!





Men’s Group for Novices in S/M offered in New York City

**I posted this before, and I am told there are still spots available**

For those of you in NYC who are interested in learning more about S/M, a special educational opportunity is available starting in January 2014. A novices course is being led by my friend Gil. It is an excellent opportunity to learn in a safe and supportive environment. I know, because I took this course myself, many years back. It meets Sunday afternoons in January, February and March and it covers the basics like rope bondage, spanking and flogging, to more advanced play like electro and mummification.

See below for specific details.



2 guyswhoneedtobetiedup035b

TES (The Eulenspiegel Society) is sponsoring the Men’s Group Series for NOVICES in S/M, beginning January 5, 2014


For the 25th year, Gil K will conduct a course consisting of 6 four-hour S/M workshops for both “Tops” and “bottoms” who have little or no experience (or who simply want to brush up on their skills). It is open to men who are at least 19 years of age, and is limited to 24 attendees maximum. You do not have to be gay or a TES member, but attendees must feel comfortable being nude at times (sessions 3, 4, 5, and 6) and working with other men. Everyone participates as both top and bottom, as we demonstrate and workshop everything in a way that is enjoyable, fun, but educational.

Among the areas covered will be basic bondage, spanking and flogging, tit and genitorture, rope harnesses, things that pinch, mummification, and electricity (see the schedule below). The course meets every other Sunday afternoon from 3-7 pm, beginning January 5. There is a one-time fee of $30 for TES members or $40 for non-members that covers all the supplies, notes, and refreshments for the course.

Here is the schedule:

1. Intro to S/M; Being a Good Top/bottom; Basic Rope Bondage, 1/5/14

2. Spanking and Flogging; handout: Caning, 1/19/14

3. Gags/Blindfolds; Tit Play & Genitorture (including Abrasion & Bruising), 2/2/14

4. Rope Harnesses; Things That Pinch; Orchestrating the Scene (& Role Play and Fantasies), 2/16/14

5. Mummification, 3/2/14

6. Basic Electricity for Pleasure; Round Table Discussion, 3/16/14


For more information or to apply, contact Gil at novices2014@yahoo.com, and leave your name and phone number. Gil will get back to you quickly.

Only those officially signed up for the course may attend, and no new people are added after session 2. It is not a “pick-and-choose” course, so do not apply unless you can attend most of the sessions (check with Gil about other attendance requirements). The workshops are held at Gil’s home in the West Village in New York City. If you are interested, make contact as soon as possible to reserve a place.




Does anyone remember  the LURE leather bar in NYC? I wrote the article below for GMSMA’s newsletter, NewsLink, back in 2003, after my favorite leather bar closed down.



Farewell to the LURE

By MetalbondNYC

The LURE, New York City’s popular leather bar, closed on April 9, 2003, after nearly a decade of being the place to go for leather guys. GMSMA, the Renegades, Iron Guard and other local groups held bar nights at the LURE, and after the Manhole closed the bar became home to GMSMA’s Dungeon Demos. The LURE was also home to its own events such as the popular Pork on Wednesdays, regular rubber and uniform nights, foot fetish parties, and more.  You could shop in the Noose II store, and get your boots shined by the bootblack on duty.  The bar also popped up on HBO’s “Sex and the City,” when Samantha moved in upstairs.

The brainchild of the late Wally Wallace and bankrolled by a number of investors from within the community, the LURE (an acronym for Leather, Rubber, Uniforms, Etc.) opened in January 1994.   And while it did not actually turn a profit for its owners until several years later, leather men showed up in large numbers at the bar, which was jam packed every weekend in the early ’90s.

The LURE was a place to strut your stuff, to wear fetish attire of all kinds — leather and tall boots, cop or firefighter gear, rubber/latex, combat fatigues. Even guys dressed as gas station attendants were right at home there.  You could cruise for a hot leather daddy, collar a slave, or make out with a hot guy in the back.  And it wasn’t uncommon to see men there licking boots, torturing nipples, or even gulping down piss from beer bottles or glasses.

The bar was far from perfect — a dress code that was once enforced became somethig of a joke, as “tourists” and guys in sneakers would try to blend in with leather cops and rubbermen.  And that $7 cover charge seemed a little steep.  At least you got a ticket for your first drink.

As the rise of the Internet slowed business (who wants to schlep across town to pick up a trick when you can go online and “order in”?) attendance was way down, especially on Friday nights during the summer months.  When the Eagle re-emerged on West 28th Street, it drew many men away from the LURE, but most of the leather guys stayed.

In the end, some of the same forces that led Samantha to take that apartment upstairs contributed to the demise of the LURE.  Real estate in the Meat Market district became red hot as condos, nightclubs and restaurants started popping up like weeds.  The LURE’s lease was up, giving the landlord the opportunity to jack up the rent.  And when insurance premiums skyrocketed as well, it made the LURE’s existence at its West 13th Street location no longer finiancially viable for its owners.  There was talk of the bar relocating to a new space, but that turned out to be just talk.

Many of us will always have good memories of the LURE and the good times we had there over the years.   And we’ll also remember many of its former employees — Russ and John, the two bartenders who stayed with the bar for the whole run.  And Joey, one of the bar’s first managers, who was always there in full leather, rubber or fetish gear to greet regular customers with a smile.  And don’t forget Dominic, who with his tattoos and piercinngs was the most intimidating-looking doorman New York has ever seen.

So it’s the end for the LURE, at least for now.   It just goes to show that nothing lasts forever.  Just ask those who used to hang out at the Spike, the Altar and even the Mineshaft.




GMSMA NewsLink

!NewsLink49-50Before I had this website, waaaaaay back a long time ago, I was a member of Gay Male SM Activists (GMSMA), a New York City-based organization. GMSMA aimed to promote safe, sane and consensual SM through three “pillars” — education, activism and social activities. Sadly, GMSMA closed up shop a few years back. (To read about that, click here.)

I was editor of NewsLink, the newsletter for GMSMA, for about five years, and I was recently going through some boxes of old stuff and I came across a bunch of old issues. Here is a sampling:

NewsLink_inside_JocksSM NewsLink_inside_TattooJourney_cover NewsLink_inside_TattooJourney_inside NewsLink45 NewsLink56I did not want to throw my extra copies away, so Hilton over at Purple Passion here in NYC graciously agreed to distribute them. You can stop by Purple Passion, located at 211 West 20th Street just west of 7th Avenues in Manhattan, and pick up a copy.

While you;re at it, you might want to buy something, because they are having a huge sale this week. They also have a very large stock of vintage magazines available for really cheap.

Click the box below for the Purple Passion website:


If you stop in, be sure to tell them that Metalbond sent you!

Bondage at the movies: Kink – The documentary movie

Last night I attended the NYC premiere of “Kink,” the James Franco-produced documentary on the inner workings of Kink.com, with my friend Pisslurper. I ran into a bunch of other “usual suspects” there, including some familiar faces from the long lost days of GMSMA, and a few other guys.

The movie was shown at Lincoln Center as part of the NewFest LGBT Film Festival. It was VERY explicit, and I am not sure when or how it would ever be shown to the masses. Despite featuring a few more women than men, I was nevertheless intrigued by seeing some of the inner workings of the company, especially since I had the privilege of visiting the Armory, the building in San Francico where it all happens, a few years back. (For more about that, you can read my post Meting Van Darkholme.)

Pisslurper and I particularly enjoyed seeing Jessie Colter. We’re both longtime admirers of the gay male-themed sites available from Kink.com — namely, Bound Gods, Men on Edge, Bound In Public, Naked Kombat and Butt Machine Boys.

Here are a few gratuitous pictures from some recent (or not so recent) offerings from the gay sites at Kink.com. Clicking on any of these pictures will take you directly to the specific scenes depicted at these various pay sites (which are worth every penny, in my opinion):

MOE_TrentonDucatiAbove: Trenton Ducati at Men on Edge

BIP_Jordan FosterJordan Foster at Bound In Public

Jessie Coulter_NKAbove: Jessie Colter and Marcus Ruhl at Naked Kombat

BMB_RustyStevensAbove: Rusty Stevens at Butt Machine Boys

Christian_Wilde_Tyler_Sweet_BGAbove: Christian Wilde and Tyler Sweet at Bound Gods

Jim Stewart

I learned today that Jim (Maurice) Stewart has passed away.

JimStewart_01Jim, who was a writer, playwright and producer, founded Fetters in London in 1976, which is now an internationally known source of efficient physical restraint equipment and other erotic fetish gear. Fetters was inspired by Jim’s profound interest in Harry Houdini and escapology. Jim had a website, called Houdini Connections.

I had the pleasure of meeting Jim when he came to present at GMSMA in New York City in the mid 1990s. Since then, we had been regular correspondents via email over the years.

He will be missed.

JimStewart_02 JimStewart_03 JimStewart_04

The final meeting of GMSMA

By MetalbondNYC

This week I attended the final Wednesday night meeting of Gay Male S/M Activists (GMSMA). That’s right, I said “final.” Finished. Done. It’s over. The organization’s annual meeting on Wednesday, June 17, 2009, was billed as a “celebration of GMSMA.”

What’s happening is that after decades of being a vibrant, thriving organization of gay men interested in learning about safe, sane and consensual s/m, GMSMA is now “transitioning” into a non-profit foundation. There will be no more Wednesday night programs.


During its heyday, GMSMA had hundreds of members from not only New York City but from across the country and even from overseas. Regular meetings were held twice a month, and it was not uncommon for the third floor meeting room of the gay community center on West 13th Street to be jam packed with dozens or even 100 or more men eager to learn and to socialize. One night the topic might be how to tie up your boyfriend in really good rope bondage, another time you could learn all about flogging and whipping, or how to put together a really kick-ass cop or firefighter uniform. There were even some edgier programs like dog training, piss play or force feeding, or fun ones like an s/m game show. Regular “Dungeon Demo” nights were held at local play spaces, where interested men could come and observe hot scenes. Educational workshops and seminars were also held — events like the “School for Lower Education” and “Special Interest Groups” where smaller groups of men could explore and expand their sexual interests in more intimate settings. And closest to my heart, an award-winning print newsletter — NewsLink — was published several times a year. I was privileged to have served as editor of NewsLink for five years.

GMSMA was also an activist organization. Its leaders were instrumental in securing a place at the table for the leather community in groundbreaking gay civil rights marches in our nation’s capital. It was also the first s/m organization to include “S/M” in its title. That may not sound like much of a big deal today, but when GMSMA was founded back in 1981 those who engaged in s/m activities were often looked upon as freaks or deviants — even by those in the larger gay community. Believe it or not, GMSMA had to fight to be allowed to meet at the gay community center. In later years it became one of the center’s biggest financial donor organizations.

There were about 45 men in attendance at the last meeting this week, including a leather top who brought a very sexy and shirtless tattooed slave on a leash, who greeted the men he was introduced to by getting down on his hands and knees and licking their boots. Most who showed up were old-timers — one came in on the train from northeastern Connecticut. A few who came were newer members. At least half — including me — were former board members of the organization who had put in years or in some cases even decades of service to the community. But when the official business of the meeting got under way and the remaining officers announced the sad plans to effectively shut down the organization, only one man in attendance raised an objection.

It was painful for many others as well, but the unfortunate fact, what everybody knew — and what ultimately led to the end for GMSMA — is that there are simply not enough men who are willing and able to step forward to lead the organization anymore. The current board was down to just three members (a fourth signed on to help in the coming months with the transition). They were over-worked and under-appreciated. The harsh reality is that the organization simply could not continue to exist in its current form without more manpower.

But it’s not all bad news. What remains of GMSMA is Folsom Street East, the annual leather fetish block party, which will continue to grow and thrive. The annual Leather Pride Night, which was originally founded by GMSMA but later turned over to the greater leather community, continues as a popular and very fun annual event, and a sexy leather fashion show is off to a good start as an annual event. Meanwhile, GMSMA’s archivist is sending all of the organization’s historical records, photographs, publications, fliers and memorabilia to the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, so that in the future anyone who wants to can explore. Who knows, maybe someday a documentary filmmaker will take interest?